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Hidden Lies
Love once shattered my soul
painful dreams shadowed me
from all harm, scars settled
deep inside.
Time slips by
memories of who she was
scatter as the breeze bellows
through the trees.
Tender thoughts flee endlessly
intensity floods with every beat
mummers trigger misfire
frozen alibis melt the truth away.
Time slips by
ecstasy dissipates from
hidden lies.
Reflections of inner heart.
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
Please use care (this is a sensitive subject for me, do not critique harshly)
Review Request (Direction):
[This option has been removed]
Last few words:
just going through something, it'll pass soon enough
Editing stage:
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Comments
Nevel
Sat, 2011-06-18 20:27
Hi Kat,
Hi Kat,
welcome to Neopoet, I see you've found your way.
I think because your poem is personal, it's good as it is,
any desire to improve it; just follow your heart.
Greetings,
Erwin
(aka The Cannibalistic Butterfly; a poem a day keeps the doctor away)
Nevel
Sun, 2011-06-19 03:18
Hi #
Hi #
Eduardo Cruz
Sat, 2011-06-18 23:17
Hello
Welcome to "Neopoet land of the freed poets"
I love it when a poet seems to be speaking from their own heart.
it's a well written poem.
There's just one thing, you start in the first person in the first stanza, which for me makes it your pain.
I don't understand why you took it out of the personal. to me that's the power of this write.
But that's just my opinion, it's your poem.
Enjoyed reading it very much!
Regards
Eddie
LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE