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Fortress

Alas the day has gone,
In his wake the dark veil of night,
Her mysteries within the boundless
reaches of my mind.
Pushing the limits celestial treasure
is sought, hidden within twilight
folds of her infinite robe.
Velvety touch caresses my soul,
Cocooned in her ambiguity,
encompassing lust.
I hunger for the knowing this great
queen has brought forth,
I clamber to float within her chariot
of stars, to meld amidst the primordial
blackness of her, to blink out of
existence freed from earthly
plights, she wraps around me like
a warm winter coat.
Copyright©2010Kristina Russell



— katplath, Jul 19, 2010

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Country/Region: USA

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Critiques

LZ

Lil Z

15 years 10 months ago

Great write!

Welcome to Neopoet Katplath, this was a very deep write! I love the imagery and depth of language, it was very well written, and an excellent first post!
weirdelf

weirdelf

15 years 10 months ago

verbiage

yes, it has meaning, but you could write it better to be more generous to your reader. Cheers, Jess, Praise helps no poet, have the courage and generousity to give critique.
DawningDaytripper

DawningDaytripper

15 years 10 months ago

Hemm, you had me till your

Hemm, you had me till your last line. Felt out of place, a coat? Otherwise I thought it read very well. In my opinion, good first post. Welcome to Neo! Julie D.D. Hello all, come and join us in Live chat! Meet n' greet, Neo night, lonely poems, teen night. We have something for everyone, come and meet your community!
xena465

xena465

15 years 10 months ago

Welcome to Neo Katplath

I really enjoyed this lovely write, full of imaginary ... fabulous. Xena Quote: Science is what you know; philosophy is what you don't know. - Bertrand Russell
weirdelf

weirdelf

15 years 10 months ago

xena, tell the truth

Cheers, Jess, Praise helps no poet, have the courage and generousity to give critique.
xena465

xena465

15 years 10 months ago

The truth..

Brilliant write, like I already stated. My opinion and mine alone ... cheers. Xena Quote: Science is what you know; philosophy is what you don't know. - Bertrand Russell