Loreli

Jul 14, 2010 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Superficial Things

All these possessions,
the objects that stayed
can't take the loneliness
wipe the tears from my face.
These superficial things
with them, you I tried to replace.

The extra space in the garage
the life we had
now memories, a mirage.
These empty spaces
the only traces that remain of you.

Still have the bed we bought
and the pines we planted
have grown tall.
Even that broken cuckoo clock
still hangs upon the wall.

These possessions,
the objects that stayed
cover the loneliness
but can't wipe tears off my face.
These superficial things
you ... they can't replace.

Some rusted old tools
you'd no use for.
Left your wedding ring
together we bought
10 years before.

But worse by far
my heart ripped open
you left here to bleed.
All these things
I didn't really need.

These possessions of mine
the objects that stayed
can't cover my loneliness
brush my tears away.
They are superficial things
It's you, I can't replace.

— Loreli, Jul 14, 2010

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Michigan/USA, USA

Critiques

magics02

15 years 10 months ago

First submission

And your visit to chat was indeed very nice Loreli. Welcome here gal and nice to read your first poem. A lot of heart went into this write I read and will be back to visit you more and more. Welcome to Neopoet again new friend!! Mona Magics02:)

Loreli

15 years 10 months ago

Nice to meet you too

Thanks so much Mona! Was really nervous about this first post...but now that the first one is over with hopefully it won't be so hard the next time. Thanks again for you comment. See you on chat! Loreli

faithmairee

15 years 10 months ago

Nice One Loreli

There is no greatness in things nor can they ever replace those we love. Such a sad poem but nicely written. I look forward to reading more of your work. Faith ~I never say anything I don't mean nor do I say anything to be mean.~

Loreli

15 years 10 months ago

Thank you

It was very nice chatting with you last night...thanks for reading my poem and the comment. I look forward to reading your work also. And your right, things do not replace love.

xena465

15 years 10 months ago

A great first write Loreli

A very heartfelt write. I know this feeling from the past, it’s awful. But eventually we find someone else to replace the remnants of the past. I love its sentiment well done. Just one thing in this line... you…they can’t replace. ……….in this line a space between each side of the dots [you ... they can’t replace] Xena Quote: Science is what you know; philosophy is what you don't know. - Bertrand Russell

Loreli

15 years 10 months ago

Thanks Xena!

Thanks so much for the comments and the help with the line spacing! I will fix this. By the way, I read your poem last night...I didn't comment but it was really a moving poem. You are a very talented writer. I truely appreciate your help! Loreli

xena465

15 years 10 months ago

You're welcome Loreli

Thank you for reading my poem and lovely compliment. You too are very talented, so keep them coming. Xena Quote: Science is what you know; philosophy is what you don't know. - Bertrand Russell

Lil Z

15 years 10 months ago

Yes welcome!

This was a well written piece, and I enjoyed the depth and emotion in it! Bravo!

Loreli

15 years 10 months ago

thank you so much…this is

thank you so much...this is a new experience for me, letting others read what I feel.

hobo

15 years 10 months ago

very sad

This is very sad and full of emotions. I like it alot, nice write *You can never pick anyone up if you are busy putting them down*

Loreli

15 years 10 months ago

Thank you so much! I really

Thank you so much! I really appreciate all the positive feedback, gives me the courage to post something else! Sorry I didn't get much chance to talk with you last night on chat.... I had to get some sleep!