destiny

It looks fine to me. godd job on this one Cowards aren't the only ones who die a thousand deaths. Sometimes heroes do to

I have not read you in a bit and I am glad to stumble upon you once again here. I like this story/like poem. I do think if you broke it down some perhaps a little example of this would be as such I worked a little for you here: Would you for once give me a little break I am well aware it's just another mistake Today I saw you, once again tomorrow I will awake............(??? something amiss for me here) Could you spare me another morning for goodness sake (sp check) absolutely You see where I am going with it Perc. Perhaps in the format.. try to lessen up your lines by taking out alot of the (ands) and the (thes). When I first started writing my lines were full of repetition of words and when I started to edit the poem after sometime leaving it alone I seen what I was doing wrong. I would come back and tweak it up, saying and meaning the same but with less repetition of the same basic words. I hope this made sense and if not let me know. As always it is your poem and you may challenge it to your liking and work with it for yourself and your readers. Just my opinion this eveing as I responded to your caption underneath your requests for review of this poem. I think with a little work it will be a fab one!! Feel free to work it and let me know what your feedback is on my feedback to you:) Truly your American woman friend across the seas... Mona Magics:)