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M
magics02
Mar 10, 2010 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

JUST CLOSED MY EYES

I only know of what you told medo I caream I lost in the wordsof one who dosen't carewhy do you saythe things you docan we not seeall the bitterresentmenthate in all of what there is Is it right can we make
it soor shall we just let it goDespair in the darkest hourlet it go for oncedon't hang on to
a rope
too tight
It will choke and hurtrelease
and just 
let it
go

A DIFFERENT VERSION POSSIBLY FOR YOUR REVIEW

 

I only know of what you told me

do I care of what you had to say

am I lost in the words

of one who didn't really care

why do you say

the things you do

can you not see

all the bitterness and

resentment in what you write

hate in all of what is just nothing at all 

Is it right or can we make

it so, or can we just let it go

Despair in the darkest hour

let it go for once, it does not have to cling

don’t hang on to
the rope
it's bound too tight
It will choke and hurt

release it for once
and just 
let it
all go.


The End







 
— magics02, Mar 10, 2010

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: USA - Florida, USA

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Critiques

K

Kassie

16 years 2 months ago

Thanks!

I felt like I could really relate to your poem. You put into words what I could only just think about =)
M

magics02

16 years 2 months ago

Thanks kassie

You know I just did what someone asked me to do (he knows who he is) and out this came, not to much thought but only words typing out a mood, or feeling right before my blanketed eyes. Will visit you also nice lady. Magics02 Learn to live, learn to forgive. Life is too short.
M

magics02

16 years 2 months ago

If you read my caption underneath

The write, no it is not a poem it is just what I got when I closed my eyes for that moment. I dont have any of those feelings, that is just what came out, Now if I do the same thing this morning I might come up with a different verse. I just merely did this as a fun kind of thing. Trust me I am happy as a lark or a sparrow, Thank you for the feedback just the same, I take no offense to it. Hope all is well in your neck of the woods over there and I see you have a new picture. No more dinasaurs. Have a good day Theo magics02 xoxox
M

magics02

16 years 2 months ago

Yes I guess you could say that

Yes, it's okay and the point of the write was to just experiment thats all no points or stars needed here LOL. I was just putting thoughts I guess as what ever entered my mind, I know it probably does sound so garbled and no clear message it was my thinking perhaps like right now I could do it again without having to think too hard on it if you know what I mean. I will try what you said and see if I could come up with a better structured write so to speak and let you know how it is, well I will post it for all to read. You know someone said in a write that what you write is yours and it is also for the reader, well I guess on this one it could be just for me or for the reader in whichever way they read it. I will think of this exercise and see what I come up with and thank you at least for taking your time out to mention it to me. I appreciate that. Magics02 Learn to live, learn to forgive. Life is too short.
M

magics02

16 years 2 months ago

A second go

I couldnt really do too much with this to not have to leave the write so I added some things to it, and that is good enough or not. We shall see, it kind of says like how we hold unto things too tight and we need to release the strong hold of things or words or actions that leave us breathless sometimes. I hope you get it this time around. I may have to exbound a little more as i go with it. Thanks for reading and let me know magics02 Learn to live, learn to forgive. Life is too short.
judyanne

judyanne

16 years 2 months ago

‘don’t hang on to a

'don’t hang on to a rope too tight It will choke and hurt' love this - use it and work around it. has the makings of something really good and magical magic mona. lol judy-jane xxx
M

magics02

16 years 2 months ago

Thank you

Yes this was just a little of some things that I closed my eyes and came up with. That is why it is named as it is. Just trying something. Getting ready for work will check back in later, You have a great day. Love, Mona xxoxoxo Learn to live, learn to forgive. Life is too short.
M

Millage

16 years 2 months ago

This is really good

I think this is fantastic Mona. I agree with Judy-Jane about the 'rope'part. Wonderful. Much love Millage x
M

magics02

16 years 2 months ago

Thank you for the comments and stars

Thank you and yes maybe I will creater another poem from this one but for now it stays as in however anyone should percieve it as such, it is what it is, nothing more, nothing less at least not for now.. Love ya Millage and see you around town< LOL xoooxoxoxo mona
ifoundaplace

ifoundaplace

16 years 2 months ago

Mona

I'm glad you could do this Mona. good job. I like this poem. Dani (:
M

magics02

16 years 2 months ago

Thanks Dani

Hey gal miss talking to you and hope your doing fine. Thank you for stopping by and your sweet comments, I need to work on this one a little to make it a tad better to read perhaps. Tomorrow is Friday and yipeee yiaaaa Love ya gal Mona xoxoxox Learn to live, learn to forgive. Life is too short.
sunscreen

sunscreen

16 years 2 months ago

Indeed if you hold onto the

Indeed if you hold onto the rope surely you'll find it around your neck, and you killing yourself, for your grudges. Let go, and let karma kick ass.
M

magics02

16 years 2 months ago

LOL no grudges here baby

Your too funny the one who blogs my sunblocker..lol You want to add to my write here, it is true some peeps hold onto things too tight they are not all wrung out for sure but that is peoples. I for one do not have any ropes around my neck, it is more a figure of speech I guess and for surely never to kill oneself, my that is drastic, Karma well I guess we could go with that one, tru, Hey do you know what happen to Logic? Sonic remember him I always wonder what happen to him if he went to the service or not. I wish if anyone knew they could shed some much needed light on him for me. Sunblocker will you take your glasses off and go find him for magics please? Love ya honey and hope all is fine in your neck of the woods, Love Magics02
sunscreen

sunscreen

16 years 2 months ago

Mhh If I took my glasses

Mhh If I took my glasses off, I wouldn't find logic, I'd find a wall that knocked me straight on my ass :P Logic is a sad thing to rely on to tell the truth, I'd much rather be completely illogical, and consistent in my thinking, the logical, and boring!