hippiepoet69

Jan 11, 2010 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

In the Still of the Night

I will not slip quietly into the still of the nightinto the shadows of the pale moon lightnor will I ever walk awayfrom the dawning of a new day I will wait for what the new day, might bringlisten for the birds to singand wait for the spring flowers to bloomI'm not bound by the winter gloom though some might retreat, to somewhere warmavoid any chance of harmI will weather, whatever is thrown at memy heart both binds, and sets me free I will wait for the rainbow after the rainthat cleansed my soul and washed away my painthe rainbow will be my smileand give me strength to walk another mile copyright 1-11-10 hippiepoet69

— hippiepoet69, Jan 11, 2010

About This Poem

About the Author

Country/Region: USA

Critiques

Roscoe Lane

16 years 4 months ago

If i might be so brave

If i might be so brave as to say, maybe add a word here or there. try this.. nor will i ever walk away, from the dawning of a new day. Hope it works for you, anyway your poem is good i like it. Roscoe...

hippiepoet69

16 years 4 months ago

You are right

adding "ever" will it.Now I have to learm how to edit on here. LOL Thanks Roscoe

hippiepoet69

16 years 4 months ago

Thanks Anne

I rushed this one so there could be a lot of places that could be improved on. That's what's my friends are. To see it afar instead of too close like me. Thanks again. huey

Lunegirl

16 years 4 months ago

Hey, Have you found the edit

Hey, Have you found the edit button yet? when you read over your poem it should be at the top of your poem. I lovely gentle read about sticking through lifes difficaulties and seeing the rewards for doing so vicki

hippiepoet69

16 years 4 months ago

Thanks Vicki

the edit was easy. I need to go back and edit the first one I posted. I've had a tough life that produced a lot of emotions. And it taught me to get back up no matters how many times I get knoked down. The differance between a winner and a looser is. The winner gets back and goes on. Thanks for reading. huey

magics02

16 years 4 months ago

Very good Hippie poet

I loved this poem, in the still of the night, just know everything will be allright.. great job magics02

hippiepoet69

16 years 4 months ago

Thanks Magic02

Maybe I can get back into writting. I have not really wrote anything since I wrote "Like A ButterFly" in 03. And that was the first I had wrote in a couple of years at the time. Thanks again. huey

hippiepoet69

16 years 4 months ago

Thanks. I Agree

I will not argue against any of your points. It is a cookie cutter poem. But not all of my poems are. Thank you for being honest in your comments. This is what I want. Not stars or pats on my back for a bad or just OK poem. Thanks Patrick. huey

docmaverick

16 years 4 months ago

Ditto....

...from what LorienLord said. I've got an excercise for you.....try describing something without using the word of what it is. You will become descriptive, believe me. It had an okay flow, I guess it was just a tad, "pedestrian", if you know what I mean. All in all, an okay effort. "Write on"! sincerely, #{:-{)}8==== docmaverick.

hippiepoet69

16 years 4 months ago

Thanks Docmaverick

I know I need to work on being more decrptive. Has always been a weak points in my writting.That and spelling. LOL And Thanks for only two stars. I want to earn them. Thanks again. huey

docmaverick

16 years 1 month ago

Mister H....

...take my comments with a grain of salt.....after all, I'm merely the pot, trying to call the kettle, black. Ya know ? "Write on"! sincerely, #{:-{)}8==== docmaverick.

hippiepoet69

16 years 1 month ago

Thanks docmeverick

I take everything with a grain of salt. Salt improves the taste of almost everything. And I have plenty of salt. So keep commenting on me and others. I will read some of yours when I get a chance. Take Care. huey

Seren

16 years 4 months ago

Your first line reminded me

Your first line reminded me of the dylan thomas poem ... I liked the rhythm ... but I think lord and Doc both nailed it ... everyone has ways of personally describing things and looking at things ... everytime I approach a poem ... I think as Lord says outside the box ... and usually I find a gem thats just my own ... once those words are yours ... then the rest will fall into place ... and I am happy to help in my limited way , anytime please just ask ... I am still learning ... but would never have gotten this far without neopoet ... kind regards love Jayne x x

hippiepoet69

16 years 4 months ago

Thanks

Thanks Jayne, this is what I want. I raw truth and nothing but the raw truth. Thanks again. huey

magics02

16 years 4 months ago

I second that one

RAW TRUTH AND NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH...THAT IS THE ONLY WAY TO LEARN AS YOU GO AND GROW.. PEACE AND LOVE MONA

jetz

16 years 4 months ago

Hi Huey, I am glad you

Hi Huey, I am glad you posted this and so glad to see all the comments and advice you have received. See....just let others know what it is you are looking for, and many will come to your assistance.You have gotten expert advice here. I am never comfortable in giving critique....and so glad to see some of "those in the know" have responed here, for you. I know you are on the right track. I look foward to your next post. Sue

hippiepoet69

16 years 4 months ago

Thanks Sue

Don't underestamate yourself. I think your a VERY GOOD poet. I've read a few of yours. But I'm trying to read differant oeople.s work that have commented on mine. I think there should be a link back lint to the poets that comment. That would help some to get more reads. Thanks again Sue. huey

magics02

16 years 4 months ago

I agree

Good point you just made Huey magics02