infinite_dwarf

Dec 14, 2009 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Vagabond

Lone stark figure plods on
as white powder cruelly falls
cold claws cling
embed
in any exposed surface found
matted head turns upwards
as dieties are cursed
for bestowing misfortune

Lone figure falls
last chilled breath drawn
and fades with the swirling snow

— infinite_dwarf, Dec 14, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: North Carolina, USA, USA

Favorite Poets: E.A. Poe, Lewis Carroll, Charles Bukowski, Michael McClure, Lawrence Ferlenghetti.

Critiques

Seren

16 years 5 months ago

Dear Jess

I could see those cold claws of snow digging into him and dragging him down ... well done ... only one suggestion ... first line ? 'A lone stark figure plods on' ... just a suggestion but its stark and real kind regards love Jayne

infinite_dwarf

16 years 5 months ago

Thanks Jayne

Probably should have put an 'a' in there, shouldn't I? It does make more sense! Thanks for dropping in! ~Jess K. ----------------------- "If your rear end looks like two full grown raccoons wrestling in a fifty-pound bag of feed corn, say 'no' to Spandex!" - Jeff Foxworthy

professor

16 years 5 months ago

Vagabond or Good King Wenceslas?

I enjoyed the poem Jess, although the white powder image made me think more of coke than falling snow and there is a delicious typo "dieties" rather than "deities" which seemed only too appropriate with the spectre of Christmas over-indulgence looming over us all lol. I know its a serious poem but the latter really made me laugh though so thats a definite plus... for which I humbly apologise. Keith

infinite_dwarf

16 years 5 months ago

Keith!

I fought the spell check, and lost! I was trying to think of a synonym for snow, so that I wasn't obviously writing snow (twice!) and didn't even think of the coke reference. Maybe that's why he's homeless? I'll go now and change that blast i-e, as well as put in an A where it should have gone. Guess I drank too much for my birthday... LOL ~Jess K. ----------------------- "If your rear end looks like two full grown raccoons wrestling in a fifty-pound bag of feed corn, say 'no' to Spandex!" - Jeff Foxworthy

Race_9togo

16 years 5 months ago

Hey

Good to see you. Homeless. Dying in the storm. Found one of those souls in Gary a few years back. Frozen solid behind the Dollar Store as I dropped another homeless guy off at a shelter. Cops figured he'd been there a couple of days. No one bothered to tell them. This is really good. Ineffable sadness. Respectfully Jim "Laws and rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" : Race

infinite_dwarf

16 years 5 months ago

yep

quite a few here as well - and it inspired the write. Thanks for coming by! ~Jess K. ----------------------- "If your rear end looks like two full grown raccoons wrestling in a fifty-pound bag of feed corn, say 'no' to Spandex!" - Jeff Foxworthy

bjp

16 years 5 months ago

Dear Jessica

You have been pretty, pretty, pretty pretty quiet. (That is my Larry David impression. It is better in person.) This is a multi-meaning poem. "[A]s white powder cruelly falls," would seem like snow at this time of year but could be other things too. Pretty, pretty, pretty pretty pretty good! (That is my Larry David impression. It is better in person.) Brian

infinite_dwarf

16 years 5 months ago

hi Bri

This semester just sapped all creative (and other) energy out of me. I'm lucky I can form a coherent sentance, never mind write! Keith mentioned the drug possibility as well, and it's nice to see how different people interpret things! ~Jess K. ----------------------- "If your rear end looks like two full grown raccoons wrestling in a fifty-pound bag of feed corn, say 'no' to Spandex!" - Jeff Foxworthy

W.C.Wampler

16 years 5 months ago

Vagabond...poem...comment

I.D., When did you write this? Here is a very short piece I wrote on Dec 5...I do believe that thoughts travel in waves. "I'm sitting in my idling truck,sipping hot coffee, dry, warm, comfortable, listening to the rain, watching the sleet slide down the windshield. It's grim to imagine being out there,in the freezing wet. Maybe naked, maybe homeless. So pitiable, in bone hard pain. Helpless, hopeless. At the mercy, of the merciless." Yours is better, but I can only write what I can write. wcw

infinite_dwarf

16 years 5 months ago

that's a very good one

It has better imagery than mine. This one was done just sitting idly on the 14th... As I was saying to Jim, we have a couple cart people walking around up by campus. Hope you're well. ~Jess K. ----------------------- "If your rear end looks like two full grown raccoons wrestling in a fifty-pound bag of feed corn, say 'no' to Spandex!" - Jeff Foxworthy

Kailashana

16 years 5 months ago

I am sometimes embarrassed,

I am sometimes embarrassed, working on my old computer with too many windows open. I wanted to comment on your poem, Jesse--it evokes so much. (Had the same thought as Keith, and it was personal for me.) This time of the year the homeless in winter-ravaged states, countries can not be forgotten... no matter if they become blurred in white. Thank you. Merry Christmas & Happy Holidays to you and yours, ~Anna If this post 2x... am I exonerated?

infinite_dwarf

16 years 4 months ago

Thanks for dropping in,

Thanks for dropping in, Anna. The folks down on their luck need their poem too. It's actually kind of sad and disturbing how many I've come across. ~Jess K. ----------------------- "Life is the sun, and the show must go on; make it come true. Life is the sun, and the road goes on and on; paint this song any colour but blue." - Don Ross

Worldwide Freeride

16 years 5 months ago

Bbbbbbbbbbbrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

Jess, It is cuh-cuh-cuh-cold out there... in fact it is friggin' freezing! Bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbrrrrrrrrrrr! You have turned them there fingers in to icicles and dug them deep in to our skin and frozen our thoughts to this hyperthemiated body out in the cold... blanketed in a blizzard! With the time of year you often get reports of lost skiers and avalanches and such things... this one leaves you wandering your mind behind the white snow of bad reception of a TV and glad that you are by a log fire! Expertly put and goes striaght for the throat and wrestles with a fully grown snowman... I know who won too! Good write! Dale :)

infinite_dwarf

16 years 4 months ago

Thanks, Dale

Wow, what a comment! I agree that it's oftentimes too easy to just ignore the less fortunate. As I was mentioning to Anna earlier, it's very disheartening to see so many suffering. 'course I won, I cheated and used a hair dryer. =) ~Jess K. ----------------------- "Life is the sun, and the show must go on; make it come true. Life is the sun, and the road goes on and on; paint this song any colour but blue." - Don Ross

dbaker

16 years 5 months ago

Your Work

Jess! What an excellent use of words! Very sparse and yet at the same time amazingly stuffed full with images! I think this is my new favorite! Happy New Year! DS Baker

infinite_dwarf

16 years 4 months ago

Thanks Dave!

Lately I've been having trouble stringing together coherant thoughts, so I've been trying to make what works I have come up with as short as humanly possible. Glad to see that this one worked out. I've seen your new piece, just haven't gathered enough braincells together to formulate an intelligent comment at the mo. I'll try again soon, friend, promise! ~Jess K. ----------------------- "Life is the sun, and the show must go on; make it come true. Life is the sun, and the road goes on and on; paint this song any colour but blue." - Don Ross

whitetea

16 years 3 months ago

its been a while since ive

its been a while since ive read any of your work, you've really come into your own new style. :)