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M
Millage
Nov 02, 2009 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Smash and grab

Sometimes I wish I could change thingsI wish I'd never set eyes on youMy life would be so much easierActually, I don't think that's trueYou've broken right into my heartAnd stolen all my happinessA smash and grab without the 'grab'I hope I now see you less and lessBut once again that is not trueI don't want to have to let goI hold on to my tiny hopeBut I think deep down that I knowMaybe it is my self-loathingThat's why I'm punishing myselfBut I know the sad, yet simple truthAnd that sadness comes from somebody else? 
— Millage, Nov 02, 2009

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Seren

Seren

16 years 7 months ago

Dear Millage ...

This one has a different feel, as if your moving away from yourself and looking in and wondering what your doing ... but at the conclusion you come to the same answer ... I dont think that will always be the way stories change and morph just as this one will ;) love and big hugs Jayne x x
Bonitaj

Bonitaj

16 years 7 months ago

Hello Millage!

I liked the straight forward honesty right through the tone of the poem. What threw me off technically - was the flat, lack of rhyme in the last line... I know, it's not meant to be that simple - but just take a look at it again please! "I know the flat and simple truth - does that involve somebody else?" i.e. drop off the replication of truth perhaps? Cheers Boni
M

Millage

16 years 7 months ago

Thank you

Thank you Boni for you observations. I have amended it to try and capture a little more of how I actually felt. Much love Millage
L

lyz

16 years 7 months ago

Dear Millage

Intense, well written and a content of confusion. Hope all is well and I did enjoy this well written piece. Love to you and yours. Lyz. Xx
M

Millage

16 years 7 months ago

thank you

Kindest thanks to you Lyz. You say the nicest things Much love Millage x
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lyz

16 years 7 months ago

Dear Millage

Well you always write so well and I read the talent you have but you do not post often enough, lol. Love to you and yours. Lyz. XX Now get to bloody work and post another. Not to nice, lol.?