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Seren

Aug 30, 2009 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Breathing With the Wind

A Howling wind
touched deep in mind,
blowing cobwebs
like blasting a mine
Hearing with awe
I tingle within,
skin bumps to life
my elemental sin
Wisps of air
seducing sense,
mingling with memory
my journey commenced
Thousands of fingers
pressure applied,
vibrating bodies
move inside
Tree's do sway
and bend about,
gusting around
a form breaks out
Flying on breezes
floating the sky,
riding the eddies
no wondering why
A spirit in piece
cruising the night,
resting at peace
sucking the light
Warming waves
cocooning body,
lifts all graced
to astraling beauty
Earth and wind
hand in hand,
drifting to sin
no will of man
Kiting the bright
passing the dark,
making my way
and leaving my mark
Serrature the electric
burning the lines,
black and white magic
nothing refined
Simple phrases
thoughts and prayers,
memories of people
from here and there
Fantasy embers
a mercury in blood,
mystical menders
of enemies that flood
Separating mind
from all that feels,
isn't as easy
it becomes surreal
Taking a left
when right was said,
isn't the way
that plotted instead
I've made my road
a driving heart lead,
finding my "self"
as inner mind bled
Traveling forever
with an infinities breath,
closing my eyes
breaching a crest
A westerly grows
and hearts at rest ,
easing my way
via imagination's best

— Seren, Aug 30, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Beyond the Black Stump..Australia, AUS

Favorite Poets: Pablo Neruda, P.K.Page, W.H.Auden, to many and various to include them all ...

More from this author

Critiques

B

16 years 9 months ago

:)

Surrealism is the shiznit Love it hey... And yeh it is weird to comment you while sitting across from you 5 stars 2 thumbs up ♣

16 years 9 months ago

LOL Matty ...

Told you it was strange lol ... thanks I found some poetry through friends and I am just trying out a few different things to see where I can go I guess , its fun learning ... thanks glad you liked it but you always get me LOL love and hugz Jayne x x x whats for dinner ??? you still aint answered me !!! ... OI !!!!!!!! lmao "We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves. Lynn Hall" ...

L

lyz

16 years 9 months ago

Dear Seren

Whats on your mind?, Beautiful piece. Has to be read slowly.Quite a mixture of emotions, I love it because there is meaning in each verse. A rocky kind of journey, and it kept me, as a reader, interested. Awesome, Jayne. Love. Lyz.x.

16 years 9 months ago

Dear Lyz ,

I have LOTS on my mind lol thats why I wrote this one it was a form of meditation on the page if you will ... lulling into a sense or senses i guess you could say ... lol ... thanks for the comment and the read soooo happy you liked it :D love and hugz Jayne x x x We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves. Lynn Hall ...

16 years 9 months ago

you keep me

coming back for more! Your lyrical style, your sense of fantasy I adore! lol Boni

16 years 9 months ago

Dear Boni lol

Big Smile thank you for the comment I am glad you enjoyed it my friend .. love Jayne x x "We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves. Lynn Hall" ...

yenti

16 years 9 months ago

Seren

A race through many feelings and a joy to read. You have become one of the top poets here and I am glad that you are in the Southern Hemisphere as there aint room for two this side LOL I would have to send a Hit man from Mother care if you were this side. A beautiful write speak to you soon, Yours Ian.T

16 years 9 months ago

Dear Ian

Thank YOU !! Your one of my favourites coming from you that means the world to me (hug) lol no need for any hitmen I'll stay down here ;) love and hugz Jayne x x "We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves. Lynn Hall" ...

16 years 9 months ago

Thanks Kaligantsaros

Glad you liked it :D Big Smile i am always trying out new styles and new thought processes for poetry and seeing where the mind can go , this ones a kind of meditation on the page , worked for me LOL ... thankies Love Jayne x x We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves. Lynn Hall ...

Fleur MacDonald

Fleur MacDonald

16 years 9 months ago

Excellent!!

This reads just like a family story, one that your father would read to you after dinner. Really enjoyed it!!! love and hugsxxxxxxx :)fleur

16 years 9 months ago

Dear Fleur ,

Thank you hun (hug) I am so glad you like these my little explorations into the surreal LOL its calming and I really enjoy writing them ... love and hugz Jayne x x x x x x x "We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves. Lynn Hall" ...

DawningDaytripper

DawningDaytripper

16 years 9 months ago

Hi Jayne xx Differant, but

Hi Jayne xx Differant, but enjoyable, I did have one issue with the following verse, flow was not there for me. And my humble suggestion. Warming waves cocooning body (flowering or blossoming fruit tree,}Maybe lifts all graced to astraling beauty Good read, good to be back. D.D.

16 years 9 months ago

Dear Julie

Hmmmm will have a think about it , it will change the structure of another of the thought lines running through it , ill see what I can do , I am away in Newcastle at the moment so I dont have much time today , I am back to the hospital tomorrow , you take care will catch up when I get home(hug) take care Love Jayne x x "We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves. Lynn Hall" ...

16 years 9 months ago

Dear Serene

This poem though difficult to read, it encloses a mode of expression, like the pointillism of the old French painters. It gives out shades of meaning that when not caught by the mind are really taken by the heart, as feelings, and as musings yet unexplored. Is it a prayer? Or perhaps a story told to yourself? Regards, Hugo

16 years 9 months ago

Dear Hugo

I was recently introduced to a different style of poetry and was really taken with it , and this isn;t a representation of it , it was a kind of inspiration for it , its a kind of meditation in word I sometimes feel the need to lighten up so I write myself a smile ;) lol so glad you enjoyed it I was just off to read your newest write ... love and Respect Jayne x x "We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves. Lynn Hall" ...

DawningDaytripper

DawningDaytripper

16 years 9 months ago

I forgot my stars!!

I forgot my stars!!

16 years 9 months ago

Dear Julie LOL

I think you must be getting up when I am getting home from the hospital lol ... Woooohoooooooo I can go home tomorrow :) I have loved visiting with the guys but I cannot wait to see the kids , I miss my babies LOL much love and hugz Jayne .. p.s. ta for the purdy stars hun :P "We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves. Lynn Hall" ...

16 years 9 months ago

Hi been away, & come back to

Hi been away, & come back to find the queen of evolution still right there... heh heh. There are some great lines here... if you want truthful feedback I felt it was too long, but then my concentration is down lately so it's purely personal opinion (as is any feedback here), still you got my nomination, love to see it tightened up though. Cheers Anni~ "A word is not the same with one writer as with another. One tears it from his guts. The other pulls it out of his overcoat pocket". ~Charles Peguy

16 years 9 months ago

Dear Anni

LOL first time I've been in evolution for a while I stopped updating a little bit back :) I am away at the moment and only finished this one on the weekend but its part of a series I am writing trying something out , its not finished by a long shot, but will wait till im back home, I'm in newcastle staying at BossCombats at the moment been at the hospital today going home tomorrow cannot wait to see my babies :) good to see you round hun the place has missed you .. Regards Jayne Thanks for the nom though there are some awesome poems round at the moment , lights are shining all over the place its awesome to watch "We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves. Lynn Hall" ...

16 years 9 months ago

should be to encourage, or so a write can be more broadly viewed

Dear Jayne... no doubt at all that you put in the miles, but I don't think spotlight is a consistant indicator of anything, poems get nominated for different reasons, the content more than the skill on occassion, or for the effort or for the effect... it doesn't matter, it should be to encourage, or so the wonders of a write can be more broadly viewed, I think, not to air political messages here... In any case I am overjoyed to see you in actual spotlight & not your honoured norm of evolution... YAhoo I say! Cheers Anni~ "A word is not the same with one writer as with another. One tears it from his guts. The other pulls it out of his overcoat pocket". ~Charles Peguy

16 years 9 months ago

Dear Anni ,

thanks for your comment I have just got home , your right we should all encourage each other and thats what a workshop is for ... I guess the masses pick the poems in spotlight and I vote other poems in often knowing they will kick me out , I think the light should be shared and in my opinion people like me ? who have a small amount of skills ? six months ago I wouldnt have seen spotlight and didn't ... I will say this I was against the nominate button at first... because I didnt understand it .... I took the time to figure it out and once it was reinstated I think its a great idea !!! the spotlight moves all day showing the variety and culture from all over the world ... thats what spotlight should be for I think ... showing the best of all skill levels and the different cultures and the kaleidoscope of memory and experience from everywhere .... enriching us all ... Love and hugz Jayne x x "We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves. Lynn Hall" ...

DawningDaytripper

DawningDaytripper

16 years 9 months ago

Evolution and spotlight at

Evolution and spotlight at the same time Jayne, watch out all she is writing us all under the table! but such a pretty table she sets!! D.D.

16 years 9 months ago

Dear Julie

LOL I don't plan it you know ... ha ha but thanks for the compliment hun ... ((((((((((((hug)))))))))))) glad to have you back though ... have missed you keeping me on my toes LOL ... Love and big hugz Jayne x x x "We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves. Lynn Hall" ...

16 years 9 months ago

You know my heart...

You know my heart, and it is with those lines: Traveling forever Within Infinity's breath Closing my eyes Breaching a crest Ever looking for new horizons, wondering what is over the next hill. You have no limits hun, keep on keepin' on. L & Hugz, Gee.

16 years 9 months ago

Dearest Gee ,

I do know where your heart lies in this one , and those lines you picked out , are my favourites of the whole poem because I travel an infinities breath everytime I pick up the pen or type at the computer ... ;) my escape from reality and I take you all with me, you take care my friend I hope your well , its good to be home I can comment and get back into things I cant do much for the next few days so I am sure I will haunt Neopoet :P ... ;) love and hugz Jayne x x "We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves. Lynn Hall" ...

16 years 9 months ago

Forgot to say how much I

Forgot to say how much I loved the title Cheers Anni~ "A word is not the same with one writer as with another. One tears it from his guts. The other pulls it out of his overcoat pocket". ~Charles Peguy

16 years 9 months ago

Dearest Anni

Thanks for the comment hun , i had picked breathing in wind and then thought noooo ... breathing with the wind ... I am obsessed with the wind, If i was a witch I would want control of the wind LOL ... When I was little an old Indian gentleman in Port Macquarie told me that god is in the wind ;) My Nana used to laugh at me cause I used to yell that it was windy god was here LOL .. Always wanted to write my love of the wind LOL and here it is ...I rambled eh I ahvent been able to ramble much the last few days nooooooo time ... its good to have you back with us Anni you leave a hole everytime you go Awol ;) love and hugz Jayne x x We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves. Lynn Hall ...

16 years 9 months ago

Thinking....

That this is the best place to haunt. You have so many fans here. A little levity please. I know that you will do your best to bring some laughter to those of us who need it. I look for your posts everyday, and you almost never fail to bring a smile to this old hippie. Welcome back home hun, L & Hugz, Gee

16 years 9 months ago

Dear Gee,

They aint my fans they are my friends like you ;) ... that? thank the lord!!lol think I write ok .. You know one person I wish could have read my poems my Mum she loved poetry and you know I think in a way I write to her, sometimes thinking that she would like this one or that one ... So they are my letter's in the ether to her, I just hope the mails getting through ;) lol biggest hugs and love Jayne x x "We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves. Lynn Hall" ...

C

CyberSpace

16 years 9 months ago

pleasing read well expressed

pleasing read well expressed my lovely keep it up love u very much

16 years 9 months ago

Thanks baby :)

You know I love it when you like my poetry, and whens your next poem ? lmao huh huh huh I know you gotta work and stuff (hug) love you darlin ;) mwahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" "We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves. Lynn Hall" ...

M

16 years 9 months ago

Breathing

You have painted a wonderful little story, in a very talented way, You are blessed and filled with a natural love for what you write, and I'm Pleased to be able to read them. Mantiscepter

16 years 9 months ago

Dear Mantis

What a beautiful compliment you have gifted me ... thank you ... I am just pleased that people enjoy them ... I will be looking for your latest tonight I am in bed for the day today and editing my latest poem will put it on when I get it finished :) take care much love Jayne x x x x "We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves. Lynn Hall" ...

16 years 9 months ago

wow

Jayne, You know how I feel. I dont even know what more to say. Elizabeth

16 years 9 months ago

Dear Elizabeth,

Thank you hun , I think I do know your always so effusive and beautiful with your comments, thank you huni its always nice to know when you like them I do appreciated it very much Love and hugz Jayne x

Fleur MacDonald

Fleur MacDonald

16 years 7 months ago

Came back

for another read and yes you are a GENIUS! That's all I needed to say xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx:)fleur

16 years 7 months ago

OI your going to give me a

OI your going to give me a swelled head and then have to prick my balloon woman LOL haha love you just gave me the biggest smile thanks heaps Fleur baby ... I think I just finished one of the hardest writes yet LOL so we shall see eh ? love and higgest bug hugs Jayne x x x x