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faerybeki
faerybeki
Jul 08, 2009 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

I am Man

In the beginning
was the Word
and the Word was God
God is Love
Love is the Word
I, I am Man

I am free
I will err
I will hurt
I will go to war
wreaking havoc
I bring devastation
to my Motherland
breaking her, using her
devoid of grace
forgetful of gratitude
I will stifle
I will supress
I will stagnate

I am Man
I am potential
I am the likeness of God
my freedom
permits me to choose

I will learn
I will heal
I will make peace
bringing light
to our Motherland
mending her, caressing her
weeping gratitude
from my bare feet
I will liberate
I will open
I will grow

I am God
I am Love
I am Man
this is my word

— faerybeki, Jul 08, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Country/Region: GBR

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Critiques

BL

Bert Lamrick

16 years 11 months ago

Excellent

Evocative on many levels, Beki. Thank you. Love, ~Rick
ID

Ink Dragon

16 years 10 months ago

Beki,

I am late to this party, but I thought I'd add my twopence anyway. This piece is written in a style that my proprietress calls "thoughtflow". I, too, write like this, very often, but have recently found that a little polishing is needed with these poems. Take a peek at my poem "Creation" if you have the time, I think we have a theme in common here. I wrote it as a thoughtflow and have posted this version to the forums, then later tried to rewrite it as a sonnet, which I have posted to the stream. I liked both versions (actually, I liked my thoughtflow even better), but I think most readers would prefer the structured version. Gosh! I'm turning into a verbose b*** ;) I'd better stop commenting now... Sorry, my brain is in overdrive today, ideas surfacing all the time from out of nowhere... Much love, ~Nina
faerybeki

faerybeki

16 years 10 months ago

Nina, I just wrote you a

Nina, I just wrote you a reply and then lost it, argh! Thanks for sharing your ideas Nina, I always appreciate you commenting :) I remember your Creation sonnet, it blew me away, I can see how this piece may benefit from some similar structuring, I'll give it some thought hon. Oh and please feel free to be as verbose as you like dear poetess ;) much love Beks xx