Expoetation

are these words!!! Love it!!! :)fleur

Jess, there's no right *way* for a poet; there's only the heart floating in a field of dreams. Love. ~A "You begin saving the world by saving one person at a time; all else is grandiose romanticism or politics." Charles Bukowski

I don't know why, but immediately after reading the first two opening lines, I had the lyrics "Hey, hey, please, please, get off of my cloud!" (rolling Stones) float in my mind. I know, this bears no relevance on anything, just had to make mention. I do believe that you've summed us up quite nicely, very concisely. Enjoyed your play on words with the title; very witty. ~Jess K. ----------------------- "So I open my door to my enemies, and ask could we wipe the slate clean? But they tell me to please go fu** myself; you know you just can't win" - Pink Floyd

pounded out, revealed to be a circle. Love this Jess. Cheers. Craig

misinterpreting your piece. I am taking a strong impression that this piece makes writing poetry a kind of parasitism on the experiences of others. There is (in this piece, alone on the table before me, with no accompanying provenance) nothing to make the poet an active participant in life, with history of her own to delve. Joy and sorrow, good fortune and ill are borrowed and finally, through the dark crafts of poetry converted. The events are reworked; the identifying facts filed off, and the final product is 'my poem'--but we can see that it is stolen goods. Can you have meant this (what I see as) so strong a general rebuke? Or, which is plausible extension of my error so far, could you have meant to point to a particular stripe of poet, who might live in so dull a world that she MUST borrow experience to alleviate the drably uniform facts of personal history? Crap! I hate this! No, not the poem, but that the interpretation I reached seems . . . right, for no articulable cause. Gimme a hand here, Jess. I'm in the pickle. I'm goin' **** on ya, 'cause I'm takin' your purpose as "Make What's-'is-name doubt his own judgment," and THAT purpose you achieve greatly. Perry

Has your notebook miraculously returned? Or did you have to do a rewrite? I still have a few minor issues with stanza 2: poets gather, mine, harness exploit -> missing comma? they mix it up and distill it -> do not like mix it up here, too colloquial and return it you -> return it to you? But still, the first stanza is absolutely worth 4 stars. I also like your title, very clever! Yours, ~Nina

I can see you've been in your think tank... my wife says we all steal words from the dictionary and call them our own... but this poem of yours goes much deeper... there is very little one can write about that hasn't been written or felt or seen... It is merely the delivery of the words that can be original, not the words, and in most cases, not even the circumstances. So do we send it back, I think we do, it is a circle that has been going on since writing it down became a need for all... I think Nina touched on the couple of things I would have... enjoyed the write... maybe I'll send it back one day... lol... Richard

awesome!

... Love this one jess , tongue in cheek and all ;) Love Jayne x x

I think this a really great poem & I can think of several interpretations, but they are all just stories & yours is there & ours are in our minds & I like it that way... You do good story Jess.. (& of course it has the word "cloud" in it so I had to like it at least for that I am so in love with those things). The lovely thing about clouds is their cyclical nature, anyone could mine them & eventually those little water drop (vapour) are going to end up right back there in the sky, smiling defiantly... "Ya can't dry me out ya bastards", little cloud fist waving with a smile & a cloud wink - or better still unperturbed... which is really more in keeping with my perception of clouds, they don't do anything with bad intention... rain on any one's parade is the other side of bringing the essential moisture to the fruit & vegie crops... I just love them, they do their thing. & ... once more I digress (I am loving having a little time to spend on Neo today), sorry.... I do love this poem Jess, really well written & I love it's ambiguity in a way & the massages that are clear also. Take care xx Anni ~~~ "Courage, it would seem, is nothing less than the power to overcome danger, misfortune, fear, injustice, while continuing to affirm inwardly that life with all its sorrows is good; that everything is meaningful even if in a sense beyond o

great write. i've been feeling the same way since the past few weeks and i feel at the core of the composition. hope you remember me, jess.

this is a great poem Jess clouds have always terrified me as a child I thought all things were beings that had intelligence thought spirit more perhaps Thunderbirds from their great cliffs when storms came off the lakes further West and in my Simulator free from the internet I fly because I love the abstraction of it take a simple model of a lanc to the clouds or a hurricane spitfire Jets too fast fly through them above them looking down simple clouds simple green land below the sea on island setting Minning them yes someone already has devised a way to make clouds from water from small boats on the ocean to divert UV radiation to make the planet cooler That im not making up that is cool Dream to the clouds they are so great Mid west painters of America loved the clouds they so dominated the sky and anyone living in Texas watchs clouds In Algonquin Park Tom Tompson painted during 1916/17 beautiful landscapes with clouds could go on and on Such is your ability Jess to place a finger on the pulse of that dreaming place

after all of these comments, all i can say is great poem! thanks! -with what love could be- WT

you start quietly in this and lead your way in to your topic and step you way out, taking time to look back. i like it about this piece.

Except for the "poets gather" line, which is too choppy and doesn't fit the rest of the poem's smooth flow. Like the message though - we are poetic parasites, no doubt about it, although perhaps in the end we are more mirrors than bloodsuckers. I would leave that lawyer on acid and the Cocteau twins, by the way. Probably good for him! Respectfully Jim "Laws and rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" : Race

Superb wordplay and flow. I salute you on this [master]piece.

i still think the actual "I return it *you*, different, still yours", lends itself to ummm extrapolation, or is interpolation? ~A "You can avoid reality, but you cannot avoid the consequences of avoiding reality." Ayn Rand

for a moment i was thinking which clouds we mine but i needed not again when the dictionary is all what we refer. this poems thoroughly uses words in an excellent way. the flow is just superb.