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Outer Shell (society's husks)

Society's husks
don't tell me what beauty is
the shell matters not
— faerybeki, May 26, 2009

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Country/Region: GBR

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Critiques

themoonman

themoonman

17 years ago

Hi Beki...

I love your opinion, I've always felt the same way... others see something beautiful and look from the outside in... I look inside... something seems wrong with the second line, not sure what though... "what is" maybe... always a pleasure seeing into you, you are quite the beauty ya know!!! Richard
faerybeki

faerybeki

17 years ago

Richard, you sweet man, your

Richard, you sweet man, your comments so often give me reason to smile! :) I find no suprise in hearing you are a lover of inner beauty, you're right about that second line, I was a little uncomfortable with it, felt forced somehow, I'll swap the word order round a bit and see if that helps! Thank you so much for your comment Richard, much love from one beauty to another ;) b xx
professor

professor

17 years ago

Hi Beki

I surely cant compete with Richard's compliments on this occasion lol. As always your words set me to thinking and this is how it came out for me: Society's husks empty of inner beauty The shell matters not PS If you meant "society" in the singulat then it should be "Society's" rather than "Societies". Keith x
faerybeki

faerybeki

17 years ago

LOL Keith! :) I’m glad my

LOL Keith! :) I'm glad my words set you to thinking , that is compliment enough! I have edited 'society' bit, i think I did want to imply more than one society, as I'm sure this obsession with external beauty and appearance is not a uniquely British thing! but I think you're right society's does work best, I can't tell you how I ummed and arred about that bit before posting, if I leave it as Society's though, is the idea of it being many different societies still implied to the reader?! I'm going to leave the middle line for now, I kind of like expressing that i won't be told by society what beauty is! Do hope you're well Keith? and life on the fens is good? As always, I'm very grateful for your opinions and comments! much love b xx
ID

Ink Dragon

17 years ago

Little fairy,

I love this piece for its message, and it is well composed. Glad to see you trying your hand at a Japanese poem, you sure did a really great job. But please do alter the "societies", as Keith has already pointed out. Yours, ~Nina
faerybeki

faerybeki

17 years ago

Nina, oh I can’t tell you

Nina, oh I can't tell you how wonderful it is to be recieving comments from you again! Hooray! :) I've actually been writing loads of Haikus recently (Chicken Feed, Two Midges, Dappled Dreams, The Ordinary) I've been reading an anthology of 'Zen' poetry my yoga teacher leant me, and it has undoubtedly inspired me to experiment with this form, and I'm really loving it! So happy you think I've done a good job Nina, your opinion is very much respected here dear poetess! :)do hope you're well hon. much love b xx
Cloudthings

Cloudthings

17 years ago

You gave these feelings wings... like your own dearest one. Bea

Woooooo, what words could say how lovely this is?... You gave these feelings wings... like your own dearest one. Beautifully done Beki girl. xxx~ Anni ~~~ "Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get, it's what you are expected to give -- which is everything." -Anon
faerybeki

faerybeki

17 years ago

Awww thanks Anni, so happy

Awww thanks Anni, so happy you enjoyed hon, hoping you'll like my most recent Japanese offering, Omi and I helped some friends extract some honey recently, I must say I thought of you often, I know you love bees, it really was such an enjoyable afternoon :) I'm liking the drama of your new photo, got me thinking Cathy on a moor somewhere lol :) much love to you lovely one xxx
W

Wafi

17 years ago

Great It Is Beki

Great it is Beki. I love Haiku poems so much cos of it's brevity while saying so much and conveying a great message in it, and I see that you have done justice to it. A very well done Haiku Beki. Loved the depth of your thoughts. We think so small, always and almost thinking of "the shells" as you have mentioned it here.Duped by the outer appearance of things, we fail to see the real beauty and the reality within. Hope everyone could see the way you see things!! Enjoyed it. Sincerely, Wafi
faerybeki

faerybeki

17 years ago

Manena Wafi, so glad you

Manena Wafi, so glad you enjoyed and think it was well constructed. Happy you have sorted you computer out and are back with us, hope the exams went well and things are good with you. Always honoured to see you here Wafi and love recieving your comments. I've found it so uplifting here at Neopoet, so many of us who see beauty in more than the shell, it's good for the soul :) much love b xx
P

paparazii

17 years ago

Haiku one

Loved it Beki, so few words containing a great message, that if you go deeply with it, you might as well come with a long story. Pleasant days and good nights paparazii
faerybeki

faerybeki

17 years ago

Hey Ephy, ndatenda, so

Hey Ephy, ndatenda, so pleased you liked it, I do love this form for just the reasons you state hon, few words, long story. As ever I love when you stop here, been meaning to catch up with your posts, but you know how crazy it's been lately, sooo busy! :) visit you soon though, you know I love your work, yakanaka! Wakanaka :) much love b xxx