infinite_dwarf

Jan 15, 2009 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Withered Confidence

I ask the chemists, and the biologists
the scientists of the world.
As you study your platelets
your abnormal white blood cells
and that funky amoebae who just oozed another quarter inch.
Do you ever have the day
when you wonder who is looking at who?

You went through all that work
to eat your Big Mac
And here this little one-celled creature
just covered its food, and absorbed it!
No lines to wait in, no $4 spent
no pickle falling out of the bun.
I don't know about you
but I'm not sure I feel very much superior to that!

Plant life can make their own food
just by taking in sunlight!
I feel inferior to these creatures, too.
My confidence is badly shaken
and I eat a salad.
Having consumed the taunting life
I feel better....

— infinite_dwarf, Jan 15, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: North Carolina, USA, USA

Favorite Poets: E.A. Poe, Lewis Carroll, Charles Bukowski, Michael McClure, Lawrence Ferlenghetti.

Critiques

infinite_dwarf

17 years 4 months ago

Kelsey

I may be at the top of the food chain (and that's debatable what with bears and sharks and things!) but there are still animals that I refuse to eat - namely goose, venison, pheasant, rabbit, squirrel. True story: first time I met Jon's parents, his mother serves goose. I didn't know it was goose, so I eat it. Jon's like, "so how'd you like the goose?" I sat there and cried right at the dinner table, and then felt sick. If you don't tell me what it is, I eat anything. If you tell me, I'll refuse it. ~Jess K. ---------------------------------------------------- -"Handle every situation like a dog: if you can't eat it, or screw it, piss on it and walk away!"

poewriter58

17 years 4 months ago

Jess

Something is missing, you were going along well then fell off at the end.

infinite_dwarf

17 years 4 months ago

I know

Last stanza kind of seems weak. Any suggestions? I'd like to keep the funny bit at the end, as I'm rather attached to it. :~) ~Jess K. ---------------------------------------------------- -"Handle every situation like a dog: if you can't eat it, or screw it, piss on it and walk away!"

Quillsvein1

17 years 4 months ago

very

illuminating and humorous commentary on our condition in the flesh: man is the only animal who can even realize that he has something in common with the immaculate plant you describe--and therein lies the tragedy! But you make it funny and a little lighter in your colorful language than most on the subject. great job! GB

infinite_dwarf

17 years 4 months ago

Thanks!

Actually, the end was partially inspired by Garfield. In one comic, he and Odie are watching TV, and people are being interviewed as to which is more smart - cat or dog? One person says cat, and Garfield grins at Odie. One says dog, and Odie pokes Garfield. One says that pigs are smarter than cats AND dogs, and Garfield is like: "pigs are smarter than both of us? I find that hard to accept. C'mon Odie, let's go discuss this over a ham sandwich!" I died laughing, as it was so witty! I was hoping that everything was understandable, as I know that not everyone has a keen interest in science past the required crap in school. It seems my gamble has worked. ~Jess K. ---------------------------------------------------- -"Handle every situation like a dog: if you can't eat it, or screw it, piss on it and walk away!"

leonard daranjo

17 years 4 months ago

The last line took me by surprise -

Hi Jess, simple, down to earth, and yet, has a world of meaning. We are on the top of the food chain, we slaughter and eat the flesh other animals but we are clumsy and awkward by comparison just like the little one-celled creature who - "just covered its food, and absorbed it!" They do things we can never dream of just like "Plant life can make their own food and defy gravity by pulling water up their roots" Lovely piece. Quite thought provoking. I love the comparison of Kelsey's quote to your last line. Cheers ... Leonard

IKnowNoBox

17 years 4 months ago

Roll The Credits

Amoebea-The Movie In ink, Dabbler

Conect11

17 years 4 months ago

I'm there man, right there

have had those same thoughts too. Recently, in fact. The universe is so vast that I'd life like a secretive lunatic (my IKnowNoBox tribute there, thank you!) if it turned out we were someone else's virus. The funny thing is, this doesn't just apply to other civilizations, species, or technologies. Humanity tends to be pretty arrogant about our place in the world, and the advances we've made. It's as if we think the ancients didn't have surgery or medicine They did Or running water in their homes They did Or world exploration um, yeah, again they did cuisine check culture check etc. etc. etc. Love the poem, it rips deep and does all it needs to do and more. Mark W. "Not since the Houston Asylum Fire of '54 have I seen so many flaming crazies." ~Dan Rather, SNL Fringe Candidates Debate

Kailashana

17 years 4 months ago

Well, I for one, didn’t

Well, I for one, didn't understand a word of it, until the end...;-) Shut my mouth, and eat my salad! Oh, wait... I can't do both...! (if you like any of the aforementioned words for the ending...) Amoebae of the world unite! ~A p.s. I think they already made that movie, it was called THE BLOB. ;-) p.p.s. The great Garfield joke reminds me: In the ham and eggs breakfast, the chicken makes a contribution but the pig makes a commitment! ... "All in all, it's just another brick in the wall." Pink Floyd There are no walls except for the ones we build. ~me~

Jinxed

17 years 4 months ago

very intriguing! it does

very intriguing! it does make you wonder though. i enjoy reading this kind of poems because it does boggle your mind. hope you write more intriguing poems like this one. by the way, you may want to check out my piece 'the failed humans' which has a similar theme. take care.

Race_9togo

17 years 4 months ago

I like this

Perhaps use photosynthesis instead of osmosis in the last verse? Just as strange compared to us, and plants convert sunlight directly into nutrients, while we have to rely on them to do it! You could keep the ending that way, as well. just a thought Respectfully Jim "Laws and rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" : Race

Ink Dragon

17 years 4 months ago

Jess,

next time I look into a microscope, I´ll watch out for tiny tongues stuck out at me! Enjoyably speculative write, ~Nina

infinite_dwarf

17 years 4 months ago

Thanks again, all!!

I like the last paragraph a little more now. I took Jim's suggestion of doing away with transpiration (not osmosis, but they use that too) and just keeping it with photosynthesis. I liked Nina's comment about the little tongues sticking out, so I incorporated that into the last stanza as well. Thank you for the reads, comments, and suggestions on improvement - they're much appreciated! ~Jess K. ---------------------------------------------------- -"Handle every situation like a dog: if you can't eat it, or screw it, piss on it and walk away!"

Eduardo Cruz

17 years 4 months ago

Jess,

you have a way of making serious things sound hilarious! Maybe in another life you were a comedian.(not that I belief in reincarnation) great write but I came after the restoration. thanks, Eddie -I love animals, their just like meat!-

Kailashana

17 years 4 months ago

jess, imo, your last stanza

jess, imo, your last stanza lost its je ne sais quois, in its transmutation and metamorphosis... sorry to say. there. i feel much better now. ;-) ~A "All in all, it's just another brick in the wall." Pink Floyd There are no walls except for the ones we build. ~me~

JWwildcat2012

17 years 3 months ago

Thank you Jess..........

Your poem is worded well,and you get the reader captivated in the lines in this one,no doubt..........But I happen to like McDonalds,Hon.(lol)Im'a just gonna have to steer clear of A Big Mac for a little bit.The thought of my food moving is too much info......Oh,look.....an apple.......... Your friend,in peace, Scott.