Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Awakened!

Hush, hush, go back to sleep,
return to the darkness where
you sleep,

close your eyes do not see,
if you see the hate you'll want
to feed,

return to your hidden lair
creature of the dark,

I can feel you in my gut twisting,
turning, tying knots, knots you
use to climb,

to cloud a mind and bring the dark,
sinister thoughts invade my mind,
that lead to the most inhuman
crimes,

that seed was planted from the
outside, they didn't  know or realize
the monster I have hidden inside,

so here it is, that which was created
from circumstances and a place of
love and war,

now you'll learn that the sword is
mightier than the words!
— Eduardo Cruz, Nov 02, 2008

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: New York City, N.Y. Spanish Harlem, USA

Favorite Poets: P. Neruda, Jose de Diego, E. Dickenson, R. Frost, there are many more, but these had the greatest influence...

More from this author

Critiques

J

Jasmine

17 years 7 months ago

Awesome!!

Amazing words...can feel pain and attempt at closing out the demons...excellent writing ... Jasmine
Eduardo Cruz

Eduardo Cruz

17 years 7 months ago

Jas,

I happy you can see the fact that we all have a monster inside, and we try to keep it at bay. thanks for your comment and stopping by to read! Eddie "do like the once barren tree: flourish and like the planted seed: rise" Jose de Deigo
Z

zarul

17 years 7 months ago

Whoa

A thrilling and outgoing piece. Love this one ZARUL
Eduardo Cruz

Eduardo Cruz

17 years 7 months ago

Z.

thank you for your comment and taking the time to read. Eddie "do like the once barren tree: flourish and like the planted seed: rise" Jose de Deigo
Kailashana

Kailashana

17 years 7 months ago

nice work Eddie, truly

nice work Eddie, truly inspirational ;-) ~A do not go to sleep! in your dreams shimmering mirage of sand and sun an oasis fills deep within calls your lips to thirst
Eduardo Cruz

Eduardo Cruz

17 years 7 months ago

Anna,

thank you for the "inspirational" didn't expect that I'm quite taken aback by it. That's very generous of you! I am glad that you stopped by to read! again thanks, Eddie "do like the once barren tree: flourish and like the planted seed: rise" Jose de Diego
themoonman

themoonman

17 years 7 months ago

Goodness...

the monster inside... put me in mind(because of the sword) of the "Hannibal Rising" movie... enjoyed the darker look Eddie... Richard
Eduardo Cruz

Eduardo Cruz

17 years 7 months ago

Hey Richard,

I'm impress with myself, that you didn't find any spelling or grammar corrections. you have lead me to be more careful and I do appreciate that! Yes Hannibal, talk about monsters in the dark. I didn't think of that, but I surely see it now. thank for the gory imagery. LOL! thanks Richard I'm happy you enjoyed my dark side more to to come. Eddie PS. did you read my poem: Dark Baggage. "do like the once barren tree: flourish and like the planted seed: rise" Jose de Diego
themoonman

themoonman

17 years 7 months ago

Eddie...

I am so glad to hear that I have affected your writing... even it is as trivial as spelling and grammar... sometimes just the right punctuation can make or break a poem... Dark Baggage... I remember seeing it... will have to look back... thank you for making me feel appreciated... Richard
P

prayersbyPatty

17 years 7 months ago

Eddie my friend

I got it and I know it, and I felt it, nicely put. Patty
Eduardo Cruz

Eduardo Cruz

17 years 7 months ago

Patty,

I am so happy you got it, because I wrote it for you. thank god you know how to keep the dark at bay! thanks, Eddie "do like the once barren tree: flourish and like the planted seed: rise" Jose De Diego
P

prayersbyPatty

17 years 6 months ago

Eddie

Blush, blush... thank you ... as part of the group there when the Mountain splits I will follow the white horse and his rider yielding my sword against the child molesters and demons who do not belong. Patty
Eduardo Cruz

Eduardo Cruz

17 years 6 months ago

Linda,

thanks so much for your generous comment! Eddie "do like the once barren tree: flourish and like the planted seed: rise" Jose De Diego
Race_9togo

Race_9togo

17 years 6 months ago

Awakened

I enjoyed this very much. Read it half a dozen times, and made a copy, hope you don't mind. One thing. In the verse "I can feel you in my gut twisting, turning, tying knots, knots you use to climb" the first line seems a little passive to me. How about "I can feel you twisting in my gut, turning, tying knots, knots you use to climb" just a thought. Again, a really good piece, thank you.
Eduardo Cruz

Eduardo Cruz

17 years 6 months ago

Race,

thank you for stopping by and commenting. Thanks, Eddie "do like the once barren tree: flourish and like the planted seed: rise" Jose de Deigo
Barbara Writes

Barbara Writes

17 years 6 months ago

Eddie

Reading this was good enjoyed the awakened of the evil inside held at bay a tough job at times. PS: Janice suggestion rocks. Respectfully Respectfully Yours, Barbara
Eduardo Cruz

Eduardo Cruz

17 years 6 months ago

Barb,

I'm glad you enjoyed it. this is not just for one person. thanks, Eddie "do like the once barren tree: flourish and like the planted seed: rise" Jose De Diego
Barbara Writes

Barbara Writes

17 years 6 months ago

Eddie

Reading this was good enjoyed the awakened of the evil inside held at bay a tough job at times. PS: Race suggestion rocks. Respectfully Yours, Barbara
Eduardo Cruz

Eduardo Cruz

17 years 6 months ago

Janice,

I wrote this for all who somethings feel they can't take it any more, enough is enough. that when the monster that hides in all of us decide to emerge I happy you can see the message. thanks, Eddie XOXO "do like the once barren tree: flourish and like the planted seed: rise" Jose De Diego
ID

Ink Dragon

17 years 4 months ago

Eddie,

thanks for pointing this one out to me, I can see where my poem and yours meet... Incidentally, my very first quote here on Neo was "The word is mightier than the sword". But I see your reasoning, how the last line came about from this monster write! Yours, ~Nina
Eduardo Cruz

Eduardo Cruz

17 years 4 months ago

Nina,

thanks for taking the time, and seeing where both poems sort of meet. But honestly I enjoyed yours more then mine. Yours has more depth to the question of pain and hurt. thanks, Eddie