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Dark- baggage







Fleeing from that which
is unseen, hidden within
the place of unconsciousness,

driven by shadows of secrets,
undiscernible imagery from
past circumstances,

dancing in darkened rooms
without scenery or escape,
crashing into padded walls,

smiles that greet from outer
features, while really it is
darkness that prevails,

sneering and wicked laughter
heard, from deep inside an
empty well,

flowing and over flowing, from
a river of inner turmoil,

spoken words that do not help,
dragging forward all that is the
past,

in the end there's only you with
all the darkness that was pseud,

alienation is what you asked,
separation is what was gained
right until the very end.
— Eduardo Cruz, Oct 29, 2008

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: New York City, N.Y. Spanish Harlem, USA

Favorite Poets: P. Neruda, Jose de Diego, E. Dickenson, R. Frost, there are many more, but these had the greatest influence...

More from this author

Critiques

infinite_dwarf

infinite_dwarf

17 years 7 months ago

Eddie

Dark voices from within taunt and tease you beg for mercy but it's all-consuming you try to put out the fires from your hell but it's as if someone has doused you with kerosene And it burns..... Two small corrections, my friend: pass circumstances -> past Patted -> padded. Quite a dark write here. Enjoyed very much. ~Jess K. ---------------------------------------------------- -"When there's no good answers, and no new questions. Another personal disaster, there's nowhere to go but down..." - Gin Blossoms
Eduardo Cruz

Eduardo Cruz

17 years 7 months ago

Jess,

I made the corrections, I'm going dark now, at list for a while. glad you enjoyed V.B. thanks Eddie "do like the once barren tree: flourish and like the planted seed: rise" Jose de Deigo
Rett

Rett

17 years 7 months ago

Quite good Eddie

I had to look up pseud as I had never heard it used before. psuedo I had, but after looking it up I now understand the poem better. Thank you for enrichening my vocabulary. I enjoyed the poem a lot. Respectfully, Rett: "Life is like a beach. Salty, gritty, somewhat fishy and at other times, downright crabby" Rett: 2008
Eduardo Cruz

Eduardo Cruz

17 years 7 months ago

Rett,

thanks for the comment, but enriching no I don't think. I take no credit for that. your quote is great, especially "crabby" thanks, Eddie "do like the once barren tree: flourish and like the planted seed: rise" Jose de Diego
B

barbsdad2003

17 years 7 months ago

I esp. like ...

the last two lines. Very insightful. Honest. Even poignant. separation is what was gained right until the very end How true that the end occurs before the race has finished. Thanx, Chuck PS: Strange how a piece will prompt a thought. What bubbled to the surface for me just now is: To the victor go the spoils; to the loser goes the spoiled. Then I ask my brain, "Why'd you come up with that? And why now?" But of course there's no response. None. Weird. I know, I know---people have told me that for years. By now I should know I'm ... weird.
Eduardo Cruz

Eduardo Cruz

17 years 7 months ago

thank you!

our action always determent the outcome, and in many cases we already know, but then there's that river in Egypt. thanks for your on point comment, Eddie "do like the once barren tree: flourish and like the planted seed: rise" Jose de Deigo
themoonman

themoonman

17 years 7 months ago

Hi Eddie...

a very deeply thoughtful poem... an excellent read, I much enjoyed the chance to read it... loved the title... it drew me right in... only one part that stumbled my brain... dragging forward all that is the pass... at first I thought it was supposed to be "past" then after finishing the read I thought... dragging forward all that will pass... merely a suggestion... this write truly doesn't need much improvements... well done my poet friend Richard
Eduardo Cruz

Eduardo Cruz

17 years 7 months ago

Richard,

I made the change to -past- you are correct. thanks for reading and your generous comment. Eddie "do like the once barren tree: flourish and like the planted seed: rise" Jose de Deigo