Eduardo Cruz

Oct 28, 2008 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Rain,

A poem from my Mother
written 15yrs ago on the
passing of her husband,
translated from Spanish
by Eddie Cruz
---------------------------
The pass exist as a
testament that you
were here with me,

the flaming passion
you left behind still
burns inside of me,

you gave me searing
days of happiness and
nights of unbridled
pleasure,

your love I have locked
away in the deepest part
of my heart, as if it was
buried treasure,

the anchor that was your
love, has been weighed
and now that ship sails
away,

the love and memories
that I have saved, I would
gladly trade,

just to look upon your lovely
face, and know it will never
fade,

as I wake with outstretched
arms, I scream your life saving
name,

in the darkness of my room I
search for you, but all I find is
pain,

the memories is all that's left
now, in this life filled with Rain.

— Eduardo Cruz, Oct 28, 2008

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: New York City, N.Y. Spanish Harlem, USA

Favorite Poets: P. Neruda, Jose de Diego, E. Dickenson, R. Frost, there are many more, but these had the greatest influence...

Critiques

zarul

17 years 7 months ago

hi

it is very touching poem for me, very personal and deep in meaning. i can sense a longing in here, longing of touch from dead family member. but i have some suggestions that you nedd to consider i) in line 3 stanza 1, replace where with 'were' ii) in line 3 stanza 2 leave no spacing for in and side iii) and i has trouble understanding stanza 7 I hope that you an consider my suggestions as suggestions from others who ommented me are the essnece of my poem being more beautiful. And one more thing, translating literary work is hard and it take meticulous effort. You have to watch out for the redundant, pronounciation. grammar and etc. translating poems are the hardest, in my personal opinion. THIS IS a nice poem NICE JOB SMILE GREAT DAY ZARUL

Eduardo Cruz

17 years 7 months ago

zarul

(I made the changes) stanza 7 is what follows stanza 6 I don't get what you don't understand about it. Yes it is not easy to translate from one language to another. but I believe if a person has used both all their life, It's only a little annoying trying to find the word that fits. thanks for your comment and suggestions Eddie "do like the once barren tree: flourish and like the planted seed: rise" Jose de Deigo

leonard daranjo

17 years 7 months ago

Eddie this is beautiful, awesome

and so very touching. This is indeed one of the most sensitive tributes to a person who was the love of your life. Your love; your affection and the hollow your mother has left behind has come through so beautifully in this piece. I feel absolutely sure that if your mother were to read this, she would be very touched. Thanks for sharing this experience. Leonard

Eduardo Cruz

17 years 7 months ago

Leo,

after many years of asking her to let me translate, she finally agreed. the agreement came after she knew that I was writing my own poems. It was all she really wanted, for me to beginning writing. So when I translate it I of course let her read it first and it met with her approval I'm happy you enjoyed the translation. thanks for your comment and stopping by, Eddie "do like the once barren tree: flourish and like the planted seed: rise" Jose de Deigo

infinite_dwarf

17 years 7 months ago

Eddie

Quite a moving write here. As I've always told Jonathan, I hope I go before he. I can't imagine that sort of pain of living without the one you most love in the world. ~Jess K. ---------------------------------------------------- -"When there's no good answers, and no new questions. Another personal disaster, there's nowhere to go but down..." - Gin Blossoms

Eduardo Cruz

17 years 7 months ago

Jess,

My wife and I constantly fight, when I recently had my heart attack, the first thing she said to me was: "don't you even think about going before me, I will damn sure hit you with the paddles myself" is that love Or selfishness. It's LOVE. 40yrs of it. thanks Jess I'm glad you felt that most beautiful pain that is "loss" that's the one that lets us know we do love! Eddie "do like the once barren tree: flourish and like the planted seed: rise" Jose de Deigo

Mohammad Yamin Iraqi

17 years 7 months ago

Rain

Eduardo, A superb translation. It expresses fully the pain and anguish of your mother on the passing away of your dear father. You have done full justice to the poem written originally in Spanish by your excellent articulation. Mohammad

Eduardo Cruz

17 years 7 months ago

Mo,

thank you so much for reading the translation, and understanding the pain of loss. thank you for your comment, Eddie "do like the once barren tree: flourish and like the planted seed: rise" Jose de Deigo

Rett

17 years 7 months ago

Zarul

I was very touched by your mother's poem. It was absolutely heart rending. I hesitate to make any suggestions so please take this with the love and heartache I have for this poem. the anchor that was your love, has been waded (should be...weighed...as in raised so the ship can sail, a nautical term) and now that ship sail’s( should be plural, not possessive...sails) away, Quite beautiful and sad with a longing that reaches you and squeezes your heart. You have done a very good job of translating it to English and I am impressed. Respectfully, Rett: "Life is like a beach. Salty, gritty, somewhat fishy and at other times, downright crabby" Rett: 2008

Eduardo Cruz

17 years 7 months ago

Rett,

thank you I made the changes. I give my Mom all the credit for the beauty of the poem, I'm just the messenger. I do appreciate your stopping by and your comments! Eddie "do like the once barren tree: flourish and like the planted seed: rise" Jose de Diego

Rett

17 years 7 months ago

OOPS, I must be getting senile

I put Zarul instead of Eddie. *LOL* Sorry sir. Respectfully, Rett: "Life is like a beach. Salty, gritty, somewhat fishy and at other times, downright crabby" Rett: 2008

Janice Pearce

17 years 7 months ago

Rain

Eddie, This is a beautiful poem I loved it, especially the ending I am sure it was a labor of love. Great job~ First line: The pass should this be past?, just checking The memories "is" should be are? [Not sure about this] ~~~~~~~~~~~Wanda Sykes For President~~~~~~~~

Eduardo Cruz

17 years 7 months ago

Janice,

thanks for reading I do respect your comments, I made the changes thanks again, Eddie "do like the once barren tree: flourish and like the planted seed: rise" Jose de Diego

JulieMcCarty

17 years 7 months ago

Wonderful!

I love my Dave with all of my soul and to imagine life without him seems to much for my heart to handle. I cried reading this. Absolutely beautiful,pure raw emotion that I felt with every word! Thanks

Eduardo Cruz

17 years 7 months ago

Julie,

I'm so happy you got feel my mother's longing for her husband. My your love for Dave last for ever! thanks, Eddie "do like the once barren tree: flourish and like the planted seed: rise" Jose de Deigo

Barbara Writes

17 years 7 months ago

Eddie

Thanks for sharing this beautiful poem. it is a real diamond of poetry. I know you and your mom will always share this special bond of your father etched in words great write and translation Respectfully Yours, Barbara

Eduardo Cruz

17 years 7 months ago

Barbara,

WOW, a diamond, I truly appreciate that comment. but that's my stepfather in the poem, my mother married him after my father was killed. I was 28 when my father was killed. thank you so much for your generous comment! Eddie "do like the once barren tree: flourish and like the planted seed: rise" Jose de Diego

ivanovich316

17 years 7 months ago

Thanks for suggesting

that I read this, Eddie. As has been stated so many times, your translation of a beautiful work into English is excellent. It is said that humor and poetry do not translate well. You have shown that, at least poetry, can. While I would prefer to read it in Spanish, I cannot imagine how it could be more moving than the English version. Great job, John

Eduardo Cruz

17 years 7 months ago

John,

the next poem that she allows me to post I'll post it in both languages. I'm assume you read Spanish. thanks for your comment, Eddie "do like the once barren tree: flourish and like the planted seed: rise" Jose de Diego