infinite_dwarf

Oct 10, 2008 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

You! Off My Planet!

There's not enough room for all three of us.
Two of you will have to scoot
I'm the greatest bastard here.
So it won't be me to get the boot.

Everyone withers in my presence.
My greatness can not compare.
You owe me worship, you owe me awe.
Yet you do nothing but stand there and stare.

I've neither the time, nor inclination.
To worry about what you think.
Remember, I'm the best one here.
And my shit surely doesn't stink.

You! Bring me coffee
Ahem! One sugar, not two.
No, no , no, you've got it wrong!
Whatever shall I do with you?

Isn't there one imbecile on this planet.
Who's brain wasn't left on a shelf?
I guess If I want things done right.
I just have to do 'em myself.....

— infinite_dwarf, Oct 10, 2008

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: North Carolina, USA, USA

Favorite Poets: E.A. Poe, Lewis Carroll, Charles Bukowski, Michael McClure, Lawrence Ferlenghetti.

Critiques

Kailashana

17 years 8 months ago

Fuck your aspirations hang

Fuck your aspirations hang 'em high don't tread on me with your high heeled sneakers don't count me amoung the dead. I have no idea why I wrote that... but there ya go. LOL! Love ya. ~A

Rett

17 years 8 months ago

You moron

you imbecilic airheaded lost soul. How DARe you try to usurp my kingdom. I'll kick you all the way back to writers school. *LOL* You know, that feels good. Thanks for posting, I enjoyed it. Respectfully, Rett: "We can all be thankful that Picasso wasn't a plastic surgeon." Rett

infinite_dwarf

17 years 8 months ago

lol

Thanks, guys. Rett, unfortunately, this isn't autobiographical.... I'm mean, but not that mean. LMAO!!! Glad y'all enjoyed. ~Jess K. ---------------------------------------------------- - "Everyone needs to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer!" - "Due to budget cutbacks, the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off."

Kailashana

17 years 8 months ago

Oh, and another thing:

Oh, and another thing: BRAT! Wink. ~A

prayersbyPatty

17 years 8 months ago

Jess

Boy, what a write, I wish I had those words in the traffic jam the other day when the person who cut us all off and left a mess on the freeway went on his merry way honking at us! Off my planet. LMAO You go girl Patty

Eduardo Cruz

17 years 8 months ago

Jess,

you can be so F-ing crazy sometimes, you really make me laugh. I love that about you, no fear!!! The veggies are back out of the can, where are the carrots thanks< Eddie

Janice Pearce

17 years 8 months ago

Jess

Why are all the lights off? You think I cannot see? I AM the brightest light bulb In a package of 33! Don't know where this came from either~ Thanks for posting Jess!! "There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you." Will Rogers

whitetea

17 years 8 months ago

>

hehe, got a good laugh from this, very feisty. :)

themoonman

17 years 8 months ago

Hi Jess...

we would all like to be rulers of our own little worlds... liked this piece very much... Richard

prayersbyPatty

17 years 8 months ago

Jess K

My two cents Even though she reaches for another beer from my stash I am still not the one a few beers short of a six pack Jan made me do it. Patty

yenti

17 years 7 months ago

Little person

Seems like the six pack is now empty and you've gone to infinity, we await your return or do you wish us to reach out and grab you, there are Red Dwarfs out there or is it your Cardigan, LOL Yours I.T

rider68

17 years 7 months ago

Jess Loved the post

Well this got the imagination flowing...clever!!... Bw....Peter ~~~"I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday, and I love today."~~~

infinite_dwarf

17 years 7 months ago

Thanks again!

Thanks again for all the cool comments. Like I said before, this is hardly autobiographical, as I'm as squeezed of meanness as a lemon... I just thought I'd try to write in the mindset of some egotistical moron, and I guess it came out pretty good. :~) ~Jess K. ---------------------------------------------------- - "Everyone needs to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer!" - "Due to budget cutbacks, the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off."

poewriter58

17 years 7 months ago

Jess

your alter ego is showing anyone that has been in contact with you knows you are just the opposite. You have just stated what many of us would like to say , Hey come to think of it some people I know would love this description of them mom

amalzamani

17 years 7 months ago

lol

...I have a poem very close to this...they would be sisters, but people in here don't know me well so i can't post it right now...lol What I think?...I love it of course!