Heroes

Trash your heroes
throw them to the ground
smash them like glasses, vases and other pretty china,
do not give encomium
seeking to fill your empty self.

The human heart is a selfish beast,
unrelenting in theft of warmth from
the rest of the body
so that it will live,
so that you will survive.

There is a lesson here.

Smash your heroes
leave them behind
in the dust of your own evolution,
the product of your passion.

Move
rhythmically,
dance to your own holy music.

Crash then
into your heroes
and they will see you in light
angelic
ethereal
and human.

********

— Alobar, May 27, 2008

About This Poem

About the Author

Country/Region: CAN

Critiques

Janice Pearce

18 years ago

Heroes

Very good start~ No advise from me, except thinking about it for a while and see what comes to you~

Frost Smith

18 years ago

Alobar...

Love the message of this poem; especially like the statemtent in the middle "There is a lesson here" very powerful when it stands alone. I also like the first word of each stanza rhymes, except the second; perhaps Trash your heroes throw them to the ground smash them like cheap vases they are not worthy of idolatry" Dash the human heart, Unrelenting selfish beast stealing warmth from the rest of the body, It does seem like a first draft; but I really look foward to the final copy. Frost

Alobar

18 years ago

I wanted the rhyme to

I wanted the rhyme to accentuate the lines about heroes, keep that as the focus, the other stanzas being almost parenthetical then. Not sure if it works yet, but I'm sticking with the technique, at least for now. Loved the word "idolatry," and made me realize "love" was absolutely the wrong word. Idolatry, unfortunately, doesn't have the music I'm looking for, what do you think of how I dealt with that? Added another small stanza near the end (no rhymes again, perhaps helping my case against rhyming with in the "human heart" stanza), see if it brings out more in the meaning, fleshes it out a bit more. Appreciated comments as always, looking forward to opinions on the poem, mark II. Alobar (Just my two cents, spend them on gum if you wish.)

infinite_dwarf

18 years ago

Alobar

This is off to a great start. We sing the military personnel's praises when they're away, and piss in their faces when they come home (and sometimes when they're away, too) Let's see some fire behind this! Can't wait to see the finished product. ~Jess K. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- "Political Correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical, liberal minority and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end."

Alobar

18 years ago

Interesting interpretation,

Interesting interpretation, I'm curious as to what you think now, with some new additions? I was writing from an all-togetherly different perspective then the one you have taken, but poetry is art, and thus affects each of us differently. Love that! Great quote as your tag, by the way; I always go for the clean side of the turd in conversation but always just end up with brown, dirty hands, and an offensive odour. Sigh. Alobar (Just my two cents, spend them on gum if you wish.)

themoonman

18 years ago

Hi Alobar...

I don't usually re-write...but I liked this idea so much of yours.. in the stanza, smash your heros... I thought if you were more conclusive...like Smashing our hero's we leave them behind and so on.. but only in that stanza.. sorry for chopping your work..but I do love the idea behind this poem.. and maybe the first stanza is too long.. a bit.. maybe its just these old eyes too.. nice read.. Richard

Alobar

18 years ago

Both you and Frost agree,

Both you and Frost agree, the first stanza is too long (that line with all the dishes, I bet), but I look at it a read it again and again, and just can't re-write those lines any more. The list seems necessary to me. I will think some more on this, but no more changes for now. Thanks. Alobar (Just my two cents, spend them on gum if you wish.)