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Fantasy

I walk into the Forest the sun feel like a million little kisses on my face and arms.    "MMM... the feels so good." I whispered with my eyes closed.   I hear a twig snap then another one and another...     I open my eyes but no one is around.    So, I slip my pale pink silk dress off, let the sun sun kiss my naked body.   "mmm.. so good." I murmured, as i walk in further into the Forest. I hear someone giggle. I looked and saw two women watching  me.   One with crimson colored hair, the bluest eyes I've ever seen, skin so pale you can see her veins.  The other one had brownish blond hair, moss green eyes and a tan.   The one with crimson hair spoke while lifting her left hand,  "Hello, I'm Violet and this is Rose." when she finished talking she put her index finger to my cheek then down to my bottom lip.  I flicked my tongue over her finger then drew it in.  She tasted salty but yet sweet at the same time.Rose started to caress my breast with feather light touches.   Violet removes her finger from her mouth and tugs my  hair as my head rolls back she kisses,nibbles and sucks my neck.   Rose pushes me back into the tree gently.  Violet made her way to my breast while Rose to my cunt, she used her index and thumb to push back my lips then began to lick,suck and nip my clit.   just when i was about to climax she pulls back a little, i grab her silky hair and push her forward in a silent plea begged her to continue this incredible attack on me.  Violet made her way upward to me mouth. After a moment or two my legs give out, and I'm on the floor; waiting for my breathing to slow down. I drift to sleep. when I woke up Violet and Rose where gone.

— TheRealTearsICry, Mar 03, 2008

Critiques

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Sirens Serenade

18 years 4 months ago

not for me I'm afraid

Sorry, this is my first harsh criticism but I really don't like this. I have read your other work and this doesn't measure up. The start is good..the walk into the forest feeling the sun like a million kisses on your face and arms, this conjures up great images and evocative feelings but, sorry, The Real Tears I Cry, I just don't gel with it from there on. Some of the wording is great but I think you could have tried to be more emotive. Maybe your intention was to shock and maybe you have achieved this with some readers. I think the last bit is a cop out...so many stories end with "I woke up" Now don't get me wrong, Lewis Carrol is one of my fave authors and Alice in Wonderland was a dream, but it is used a lot to explain fantasies. It's not all awful, but needs some work in my opinion. But hey I'm no expert so what do I know eh lol :o)
T

TheRealTearsICry

18 years 4 months ago

Sirens Serenade

you are right.. i'm going to change the ending to something that will better than "then i woke up"

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