Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Nothing's your answer

When you find yourself lost
look to the sky for answers
a place of infinity
where the stars are the dancers
and time is nonexistent
no thought is your cancer

the emptyness is a cold frost
leaving room for my warm thoughts
a place that seamlessly never ends
a place for me to comprehend
and everything is so distant
and there is so much space for an answer

think of the stars
as thoughts in my head
think of the light
as my visions instead

when there is nothing
everything is plain
and when there is nothing
fill the spaces with pleasure
leave no room for the pain

sometimes simplicity
causes a dynamic electricity
thoughts flow through your mind
and everything is suddenly aligned
and i know the truth as if i were blind

when you are lost
feel the warm thoughts
nothing is a space
that leaves a place for an answer...

— thesoundofmerk, Jan 06, 2008

Critiques

P

purplemoondoll

18 years 6 months ago

sometimes simplicitycauses

sometimes simplicity causes a dynamic electricity thoughts flow through your mind and everything is suddenly aligned These are beautiful lines. I also like the rhyming scheme. The only suggestion I would make is to look at the fourth verse. To me it seems to lose its way a little. It is a little bland and lacks the imagery found in the other verses. See what you think. Please feel free to ignore me if you disagree. Apart from that I really enjoyed reading this. A simple message told with a lyrical flow. Nice work :-) Kaz It's impossible to smile on the outside without feeling better on the inside.
Mark

Mark

18 years 6 months ago

mmmmm

I love meditating the universe. Love that last stanza merk! Truly, Mark

Join Neopoet to leave a critique

Neopoet is a free community of poets who critique and support each other's writing.