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The Music Played

I said someday The music would die "Would lie in death," I said I knew not that day The tune played out Soon tone faded 'bout I had forgotten One day I said The words would dry "Would hide in mouth," I said I never knew that day Lyrics would fly in Soon fade in tune I had forgotten I say someday The melody will cry "Will float in ears," I say I knew that day Each note pass down The keys remain I will remember One day I say The music will live "Will give a breath," I say I knew that night Up plays tune Now tone shall say I have remembered!
— sevenchild, Oct 20, 2007

Critiques

Mark

Mark

18 years 9 months ago

Hey Sevenchild

I think this poem is really going somewhere and I know I myself would write more. The rhythm was difficult for me I really think there needs to be more words and it seperated into stanzas. If you work on it please message me and I will come back and re-read this. Truly, Mark
S

sevenchild

18 years 9 months ago

yea

i tried 2 line break but i have a ps3 and it wont let me so if u c my poems with a bunch of periods in between the stanzas thats why

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