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J

Warning: Addicted to Living

Warning: Addicted to Living

Maybe I’ll be the next Langston Hughes

and my dream won’t be deferred

You might be addicted to dope,

but it’s life with money I prefer

About these two Maslow’s aspects of life there’s nothing funny

 It’s the American dream, escuche mi! 

It’s all about the money

Why do you think my poor street savvy self-started moving dope?

To easy money it’s most difficult to say nope

Money I’ll do anything for you

to put dubs on my jeep

But this is not found in an eighty hour work week

You judgmental creep

Now I’m glad I’m older with experience gained

Only legality remains

Maybe I’ll smile without that dark cloud in my brain

But everyone needs to open their eyes

REALIZE

The Apocalypse is near

It’s on the horizon and eminently clear

Can’t you feel them now, the four horsemen in step?

The world is on an Evil course

In the remaining time in class today

I have a lot to say

Value every breath you draw this day

I hope you brought enough to share today

So all who have come to play can stay

On this planet

You see, the giant petri

dish of earth

Is full, toxic and losing all it’s worth

On the south side (of the curve) overpopulation

Exploits these anomalies:

We are always told not to question

Our children are abused by clergymen

War everywhere, violent crime through the roof

Are cops molesting children enough proof?

Pharmaceutical companies – watch them grow

My doctor could have told me so!

Oh yeah, no insurance and I refuse to sell dope

Guess I’ll just keep writing to cope

And hold back the tears that sting my throat

By my broken teeth, but back on track

The global situation is far beyond cracked

What makes me angrier than my grounded wisdom teeth?

More anomalies. What, too much meth? You can’t sleep?

Me neither, teachers are screwing their students this week

And if they’re hot and trampy we could care less

Adults with children, why would they do this?

These are examples of the growth of madness

Perhaps God speaks through me as I profess

Buddhist, Hebrew, Muslim, Hindu

It really should not matter to you

I pray that this linguistic drawl

Is potent enough to shatter it all

Because if it’s not I truly fear

A nuclear winter is awfully near

And do not think that I am wrong

Katawar would say “spot on!”

I have your “Inconvenient Truth” right here: This rock’s overpopulated and the end is near!
— jacks, Oct 12, 2007

Critiques

P

purplemoondoll

18 years 9 months ago

I like This

Although in its present form it's a little tricky to read. It may benefit from being structured into verses to make it a little easier on the eye and show the message more clearly? See what you think. Apart from that I felt this was a powerful and very well executed piece of writing. I love the message and the imagery is brilliant. These lines grabbed me:- 'Maybe I’ll smile without that dark cloud in my brain But everyone needs to open their eyes REALIZE The Apocalypse is near It’s on the horizon and eminently clear Can’t you feel them now, the four horsemen in step? The world is on an Evil course In the remaining time in class today I have a lot to say' You certainly do have a lot to say and it is all thought provoking. Your work shows great insight and imagination. I particularly like the idea of the dark cloud in the brain and the references to the nuclear winter later on in the poem. Very well done and I really look forward to seeing more of your work. Kaz x
J

jacks

18 years 9 months ago

*

Actually this piece is meant to be heard or performed, but I need a little help from the workshop aspect of this site. It is a difficult read and a bit spread-out in subject matter. I try to tie it all together at the end. My voice and cadence is rather regional ;) so rarely does it get read as intended. Thank you for the feedback and your perspective, Jackson
J

jacks

18 years 9 months ago

Won't let me...

I tried to space it out different but it wouldn't let me. Thanks to those that put forth the effort to read it.
weirdelf

weirdelf

18 years 9 months ago

Oh man!

You fucking rock! In the short time you have been on the site you have conditioned me like one of Pavlov's dogs, not to drool but to smile when I see "jacks" on a poem I know I am in for a worthwhile challenging read. Keep saying it, brother. And I think "Addicted to Living" could not be more apposite. p.s. a bit behind here downunder (or as we see it, upover) what award did Gore win? cheers, Jess “Are we having fun yet?” Zippy the Pinhead
J

jacks

18 years 9 months ago

Gore received a Nobel prize

Gore received a Nobel prize for a poorly written documentary based on "half-science." <----preparing for locusts Jackson

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