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IMPROVED ROADS

Paved roads lead to interstates
which all wind up in a large city
where nothing good for me awaits
just crowded masses without pity

Yet when one goes the other way
road surfaces become unpaved
with just scant gravel over clay
where roadside growth is misbehaved

These are the roads which I prefer
where old trucks can leave a cloud of dust
while I seek fin, feather or fur
among a world I know and trust

Old two tracks through forests and field
the more they twist and dip the better
their rough ride serves as filter shield
especially when the weather's wetter

The best are those without a bridge
with shallow fords to cross the creeks
after dipping from a wooded ridge
or even distant mountain peaks

They tunnel 'neath green canopies
through column rows of brown and gray
formed by ancient sentinel trees
which nearly block the light of day

With scattered home steads here and there
some deserted, others occupied
farmers making their living where
their father's father lived and died

So put me on the road that follows
the footsteps of my kindred men
who also loved these wooded hollows
which empty into fertile fen

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

A few comments for what they might be worth to you.
Maybe another word for “some" in the first verse.
I don’t know if you are going for a certain number of syllables per line, if not, I’d drop “and” in line two.
Homesteads is one word.
I like it and of course I am biased as I too like the road away from distant cities.

vexations

I'll check out your ideas when I edit this. And no, I usually don't count syllables but just try to make things sound right. Home steads...homesteads, One of my 1st posts here was titled Homestead. When I posted it, I was informed it was 2 words lol.I think it may well be correct either way. Good of you to drop by with some suggestions...........stan BTW are you also a Carolinian?

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That's Mr. Olde Farte LMAO. or in German herr Olden Farten........Thanks for the visit and kind comment.......stan

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I am always happy to bring a smile to your face. Now either get to bed or go to sleep! lol.......stan

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YOU are the one pleading being tired lol......stan

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having computer problems at moment but will definitely check out your suggestions when I feel safe to edit. Going to look up home stead-homestead...............stan

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Ah yes, gravel roads and old fords...Northern Indiana's full of them, and I love driving them.
Good poem, I'll come back again, to read aned critique.

Respectfully, Jim

"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo

http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo

Any time I'm on a road which fords a stream, I know I'm in the right place lol............stan

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