weirdelf

Jul 29, 2007 ⭐ See this poem's read count — a supporter feature

She walked by.

She walked by.
My legs went weak,
my dick went hard.
Yes, said my friend,
noting my reaction,
she is gorgeous.

I met her,
became lovers
and there was only
torment and ecstasy
ecstasy and torment.

A friend looked in my eyes and said
torment.
Is that love?

Dear young poets
I know what you feel.
To this very day
if I see her it is torment and ecstasy
ecstasy and torment,
hard dick and weak knees.

But

this is the first time I have writ about it
in 20 years.
I learned little,
lost much
and it never stops hurting.

How much would I have bored you if I had wrote about it all that time?

— weirdelf, Jul 29, 2007

About the Author

Region, Country: Sydney, Australia, AUS

Favorite Poets: The Romantics, The Mersey Sound, The Beats and, of course, The Bard

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

Critiques

Quillsvein1

18 years 11 months ago

this

is some ways a departure from your earlier work, but an amusing and dead-on one as far the reality of the male libido goes. you might say that a hard dick and weak knees is the prerequisite for making even just an acquaintance with an attractive woman--what i like about this is that you don't hide attraction between the sexes with cute little poetic devices. carnal emotions are disturbing and immediate, not shakespearean and idyllic. great job.

weirdelf

18 years 11 months ago

thank you

that's why I wrote it. your comments, as usual are perceptive and intelligent cheers, Jess

RSScheerer

18 years 1 month ago

Torment and ecstasy

I have one of these people in my life - even now I fall apart if we pass one another on the street ... twenty years later, and I remember more than I have forgotten. Once again, quill hits that nail on the head regarding carnal emotions and what a fantastic job you have done ... something about that sentence sounds quite wrong, but it's 2 a.m. again and I'll suffice myself with being slightly amused by the sound of it. Best, Ronda

weirdelf

18 years 1 month ago

I wrote this because I was very, very bored

by a flood of love poetry on the site at the time. Never got the readership I hoped. So I did a little edit... Not so strangely it also kicked up all those old feelings in me. You know, I dreamed about her as recently as last week. She's been getting rent-free space in my mind again. Some things never go away. But is it love? cheers, Jess

poewriter58

18 years 1 month ago

Jess

No unrequited lust is more like it. Good honest up front writing Chrystalie

weirdelf

18 years 1 month ago

ummm... it wasn't unrequited

she just refused to leave her husband. My bad, never went near a married woman again. cheers, Jess

RSScheerer

18 years 1 month ago

Who really knows?

~ Ronda

Barbara Writes

18 years 1 month ago

Torment and estasy

Smiles:) Barbara Can't say I can relate to this. Torment chase away estasy in my mind. This is not boring, but interesting as I tend to run far from what hurts either physically ot emotionaly. Like from a distant I watch but won't go near. I think this is good writing love expressed well here.

DarkinAZ

18 years 1 month ago

Wierdelf,

You better stop this love shit !! This is not the weirdelf I know, I WANT MY FRIEND BACK ! sincerely, Mark

weirdelf

18 years 1 month ago

No worries, mate,

that's as gooey as I get. cheers, Jess

purplemoondoll

18 years 1 month ago

Breathing a sigh of relief

Breathing a sigh of relief :-) Gooey like this is fine - don't want you going completely mushy on us Jess lol. It reads like lust not love and very well expressed - she obviously left a mark. Kaz It's impossible to smile on the outside without feeling better on the inside.

weirdelf

18 years 1 month ago