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My weakly attempt at free verse

Four wheeled nodes of color
rush frantically to and fro
down dark grey dividers
seperating vertical geometries
..pastel brick
...marble white
....concrete gray

A peppering of pigeons
spices the hazy air,
itself a smorgasbord
of ripe aromas

In the canyon bottoms flow
arteries of humanity;
yet despite the numbers,
all alone.
Isolated by cell phone growths
.by different destinations

This living entity
domed over by
dull blue ribbons
of uncaring sky,
ever changing
ever growing
ever destined turn on its creators

Will future archeologists sift
through tall ruins among sandy drifts
and wonder at the sanity
of a past humanity
was it mere misplaced vanity
which caused such a rift
between man.........and nature?

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 


Stop calling your writing weak. It is not weak. Give yourself some credit for what you do not what others want you to do or be. You go out of your comfort zone and that is great. This to me is good free style. This talks about dinosaurs and the nature of man and animal and I got everything I wanted from it. Therefore I have no crit no suggestions and merely going to say I felt it I read it and now I leave this with you. Good job friend


So much for my attempt at humor lol.Thanks for visiting and chewing me out, even though I know what you mean............stan

author comment

"peppering of pigeons"
and other sites

Devoured this one
reminded me of the book shops
that sold real poetry
not the populace store chains
of Now

back when poetry was a nimble

It's always good to have you drop by. I am pleased that you like this. Makes me feel I might be on the road to doing free verse well................stan

author comment

Woody: "Hey, Buzz! You're flying! Buzz: This isn't flying. This is falling with style! ChaCha on! " (Lifted from Toy Story 1.)

Sooner or later you're gonna have to fall in love with free verse. Ha!

Yours very truly,

If I hated it I wouldn't try it you know lol. To choose one over the other is like choosing apples over peaches.Doesn't mean I don't like peaches, just like apples more....Hmmm..... at least I try free verse.Can't seem to be able to recall you trying rhyme though ( me smiles with maniacal glint in eye)............stan

author comment


I may not write in stylized rhyme, but obviously you don't read me, because many of my internal lines rhyme at times, and I've often answered you in that manner of factedly (as comments).

Sometimes the last two sentences even rhyme! Harumphf!!!!!!!!!!!


I am in hopes that we have a workshop in which all participants must venture outside their usual style of writing.Just as free verse has help my rhyming poetry(I hope) so, I think, writing structured rhyme can help a free verse or poetic prose writer................stan PS you need to take something for that cough lol

author comment

p.s. How could any poet hate any style of poem? That I don't get. It's like saying I hate artichokes but never had them (with hollandaise sauce esp.) YUM!

So far the only advantage I see in free verse is that it allows you to use form punctuation which Is a significant advantage. Hmmmm............. Now you have got me thinking of writing a rhyme poem using free verse form punctuation. Please pass the aspirin lol............stan

author comment
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