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weirdelf
weirdelf
Jul 03, 2007 ⭐ See this poem's read count — a supporter feature

What you see

Come for a walk with me
along this almost endless beach.
Close your eyes and walk.
Trust me,
I won’t let you step
on anything sharp or unpleasant.
I won’t let you falter or fall.
I don’t need to guide you,
the sand getting wetter or drier underfoot
gives you your direction.

just walk
just relax
breathing steady

you feel the urge to open your eyes with each step
resist
just walk
just relax
breathing steady

now look at your eyelids
you’ll see formless shapes
and colours

just walk
just relax
breathing steady

let the shapes and colours form
don’t push it
just let it

just walk
just relax
breathing steady

slowly shape and form
resolve to recognition

just walk
just relax
breathing steady

just observe
these movies projected
on your eyelids

just walk
just relax
breathing steady

and one day
if you really trust me
tell me what you see.

 

 

— weirdelf, Jul 03, 2007

About the Author

Region, Country: Sydney, Australia, AUS

Favorite Poets: The Romantics, The Mersey Sound, The Beats and, of course, The Bard

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Critiques

dbaker

dbaker

19 years ago

Your Write

Elf, I am a big fan of your work. however that being said...for a meditation piece it works fine. But it sounds soft and limpid. I realize that we all have different voices we write to in our heads. I have grown used to your more "Strident" voice. It is a good piece. just sort of expecting sugar in my tea spoon only to find out I got salt instead. Cheers Mate! -David Work, stretch, take risks, visualize your future. Become the poet you have always longed to be. All that is needed is honest effort.-DSB
weirdelf

weirdelf

19 years ago

8) don't you mean expecting salt

and getting sugar instead? Rather than post truly great poets that might intimidate while teaching I chose to post a way into your own head. it's not really a poem, it's advice. and it's scary but it works. cheers, Jess
B

barbsdad2003

19 years ago

Jess:

Nice work! though a little editor's fine-tuning would help. I like this so far the best of all your pieces. Thanx, Chuck
P

pinksheep

19 years ago

What you See

Very good poem . Very interesting .I liked this a hell of a lot. pinksheep
RSScheerer

RSScheerer

18 years 1 month ago

What you see

If I could have closed my eyes and read this, it might have come close to that walk along the beach. As it is, I waited until the last line, closed my eyes, and heard the ocean in my living room. Best, Ronda

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