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full moon

When the people are at home.
When the doors are shut and locked.
When the night comes.
When a mysterious glow is shown.
When the Clock hits twelve.
When the windows are closed.
There it glows.
Where it is shown.
A beautiful light is shined.
Open the nocturnal eyes.
Over above the trees and homes.
Is a beautiful sight.
For worthy and unworthy eyes.
 
There all round and yellow.
Up in the sky ahead.
With all the stars with it in the sky.
Up in the big blue brightened sky
Where it is not alone.
There is the Full Moon.
With its wonderful bright glowing light.
That will show no fright.
There it will appear.
The Full Moon

— lithium flower, Jun 20, 2007

Critiques

weirdelf

weirdelf

19 years 1 month ago

Hi Lithium

welcome to Neopoets. Really enjoyed the 3 works you posted but this is my favourite. I gather English is not your first language but that is definitely not a draw-back, you have a lovely poetic voice. Your use of internal rhyme and alliteration is elegant. And you create a perfect picture with this one. Enjoyed the re-telling of Cinderella too, gave it quite a new perspective. cheers Jess
LF

lithium flower

19 years 1 month ago

hi

Dear jess Actually I understand english very well but when younger not that much. thanks for your kind words. Please chat to me more about poetry. O-U-T out lithium flower
weirdelf

weirdelf

19 years 1 month ago

You handle English better

than most native speakers I know. It was only through some unusual (but not incorrect) constructions and word choice that I noticed it was your second language. I used to teach ESL 8) cheers Jess
C

Conect11

19 years 1 month ago

Full Moon

hi Lithium, welcome to anylit. So firstly, your name absolutely rocks. Secondly, so does this poem! I usually have a problem with poems that are comprised only of individual sentences, but you form an excellent structure and pattern here. I'd have minor suggestions, but they would change the makeup of your poem, so to not change your artistic vision I am going to withhold them. I really really do like this poem. Mark
P

Prototype

18 years 12 months ago

hey

i like your style, i've loved to read your poem!
Z

zarul

18 years ago

it is great

yeah,full moon is lovely but dont forget da ugly parts, the dark side of da full moon

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