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The Blooming Sides of My Love

Submitted by Larkspur on Fri, 2013-05-24 23:29

She sits right beside me

Delicate and earnest

Her stunning hair flowing

Like flowers in the breeze

And I believe that she is

More romantic than a rose

Puts on more charms than orchids

Expresses more passion than marigolds

And she is outright more beautiful

Than calla lilies

Though all these things I say

Are true to the naked eye

But one will not know

That she is more unstable than dahlias

For monkshood flowers should be present

Wherever she is

Phlox are sweet dreams

While she is a nightmare

She is a more enticing poison to me

Than an oleander

And has no antidote

Just like the autumn crocus

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
[This option has been removed]
Last few words: 
This is a poem that I wrote in how I feel about a particular girl. I am not sure whether or not I am going in the right direction with it. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

mand

Fri, 2013-12-20 17:23

mand's picture
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This is just amazing poetry! You have an in depth knowledge of plants and the effects that they have and then you cleverly relate them to the characteristics of the object of your desire! This is a bitter sweet and dangerous relationship - she is like poison ( and yet sooo beautiful and enticing ) Still she is irresistible. This relationship will end in disaster, but it will be passionate and beautiful while it lasts. I love the play on words ( for the title ).

I have to do a little research ( with regard the plants ) but it was well worth the effort.

Well done

LOve Mand xxxxxx

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