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Looking for help with the ending

I kicked out the following but don't know where to take it from here. the cliché would be to place a pretty young woman at the door. not certain that's where I want to go unless there is a twist. Please do not provide stanzas, just looking for ideas. Thanks

When Autumn's night began to fall
its leaves undone to Winter's call
a few made way up Walnut Hill
and chopped a chord to stay the chill

The wooden cart all brimmed to full
I tapped that mare and urged to pull.
On down the slope we trudged along
each wheel in tune with Nature's song

In time we made our way to town.
each filled their hearths then bedded down.
I walked the horse to oats and hay
then topped a pint to end my day.

I rocked a bit in my ol' chair,
A mind adrift in longing stare,
when came a wrapping at the door.
Who brings my feet back to the floor?

I opened up to my surprise
to see the fear in Sherriff's eyes.
"Come quick," he said. "There's been a crime!"
I fetched my gun in double time.

The horses raced to Faye's Saloon
where whiskey flowed and men would croon.
We stepped inside to find a man;
were told the others turned and ran.

Some eyes popped up over the bar
like pickled eggs in gallon jars.
There was gonna be a gun fight
and it's gonna go down tonight.

So there we stood, all face-to-face,
the Sheriff, me and one big Ace.
He snarled and growled and spat his chaw.
The sheriff calm. I stood in awe.

"Arse yuse tha man that shots ma boy?
Cause killing yuse gonna brings me joy!"

"Hang on Mr. for this goes bad.
We need confirm this was your lad."

[More to Follow] ------------------------------------


Perhaps the squirrel whose home you chopped? A stranger seeking warmth, The ghost of times gone by, The tapping of a sleet storm............hope this might help. Also you need to reconcile whether your poem is about you or a group of people and if part is about one and the next part about many the transition could be a bit smoother. I'm also a bit shocked to see you writing in rhyme lol......stan

or woman with a lantern that has gone out?

The young lady will only Wrap the door if you take it off the hinges LOL.
She is lost and it is becoming dark
The place she wants is in another village down the valley,
You offer her a place to stay well the flood of tears ect
This can go either way, but don't forget the previous Stanzas as this can be an extension to them but just take care on the joining of the new and old.
Yours Ian.T

There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

You've the entire story! Don't listen to them (I haven't read them by the way). You have nothing but yourself to search, You have the coolest of all things in the world- a beginning.

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

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author comment

I guess that it has to do with something related to the "longing" with which mind of the protagonist is "adrift". The stanza concludes with a line suggesting that the Protagonist mind is brought back to reality from the could it be Lady Luck to break the sequence of monotonous days the protagonist is longing for?. As I mentioned, it is just a guess...but surely you got my mind in overdrive...I would follow this page to know how the poem ends..


raj (sublime_ocean)

I think the conclusion has come to me. Stay tuned if you care to and thanks to all of you for your input.



author comment
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