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A Convergence of Hearts
Come into my arms
and I will never let go
the warmth of your body
emanating against my own
Light brown skin
against my fingertips
soft to the touch
Hands running through
coal colored hair
flowing down your back
Two hearts mingling
yours with mine
sitting there getting
to know each other
Treasuring the time
I spend with you
hoping you won’t leave
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Comments
Benjamin1987
Tue, 2013-02-12 00:02
Thank you veery Beau
Thank you very much for your suggestions Beau. I will take them into consideration when I edit this piece. When that gets done I would really like to hear what you have to say again.
Ben
author commentBlueDemon77
Sun, 2013-02-17 05:25
agreed, You were doing great until 'back hair'
I went from coo to cringe in record time....hehe. I know it was a typo. Fine work otherwise. Some bristle at poetry about love. I can't get enough. The positive force of the universe: I'm always glad my brothers and sisters and any mixtures thereof are experiencing it also.
Ron
Blue Demon77
"What I want is to be what I was before the knife,
before the brooch pin, before the salve, fixed me in this parenthesis:
Horses fluent in the wind. A place, a time gone out of mind."
The Eye Mote-Sylvia Plath
Benjamin1987
Sun, 2013-02-17 17:24
Thank you Ron
Thank you for the input Ron. I appreciate the comments and the honesty. I have just edited it and would like your input on this edit.
author commentBlueDemon77
Sun, 2013-02-17 20:52
Very good!
When it comes to poetry about love I judge it from one thing: A feeling I get in my chest that is the result of remembrance of all the loves I've had in my past and the most loved one I have now. You hit that button. Your poem is gentle, sensitive, and full of the ingredients of what I call real love.
Thanks Benjamin!
Ron
Blue Demon77
"What I want is to be what I was before the knife,
before the brooch pin, before the salve, fixed me in this parenthesis:
Horses fluent in the wind. A place, a time gone out of mind."
The Eye Mote-Sylvia Plath