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LAST SUMMER WALK
The autumn winds will soon bring frost
foretelling colder air to come
so before the last of warmth is lost
we'll pick the last sweet summer plum
Let's walk the woods and pull on vines
shaking loose from the high canopy
purple juicy muscadines
from which we'll make some wine, maybe
Now, while worn leaves still are green
with poplars, only, showing gold
while doves and humming birds still preen
and buck antlers are growing bold
It won't be long 'till time of coats
and ice covers the old fence wire
when all that's green is winter oats
driving us to warm before hearth's fire
Style / type:
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
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Editing stage:
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Comments
night_writer71
Thu, 2011-09-08 00:40
i like that reasoning
i read the poem a few times and then a few more. i like the setting and time. all together brings happiness. the wine making was great. it also gave a feeling of lose but still held the blance hope too.
scribbler
Thu, 2011-09-08 08:14
Hi night writer
I am pleased to see you again. Welcome back and thanks for the time to read and comment.............stan
scribbler
Thu, 2011-09-08 08:15
hi Eph
Better to write of birds than to get the bird lol. Thank you Eph.............stan
scribbler
Thu, 2011-09-08 18:37
hi Ian
I had best be able to do it with words as all I can paint is walls lol...........stan