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JESUS, ELVIS AND ME
JESUS, ELVIS, and ME
Jesus, Elvis and me
Would make the perfect three!
We'd make the world a different place
I defy you to disagree!
Jesus, Elvis, and me
Would be religious ecstasy
Especially during a spit roast
With Angelina Jolie!
LISTEN TO ME CLOSELY, FOR ENLIGHTENMENT AWAITS
WE'D MAKE EVERYBODY HAPPY, EVEN IN THE SOUTHERN STATES!
Jesus, Elvis and me
It's a f***ing Fait Accompli!
We'd make the perfect statue
Even covered in verdegris!
Jesus, Elvis, and me
Will live for eternity
We'd help crazies to get ladies
And help the blind to see!
HEED MY WISE WORDS DEEPLY, AND HEAR MY ANVIL CHORUS
IT'S ALWAYS BEEN THE SAME, THIS TALE, SINCE THE DAYS OF HORUS
Jesus, Elvis, and me
Would be the perfect trinity!
You'd all get eternal love
And I'd get you smoke for free!
Jesus, Elvis and me
It's the only way to be!
'Cause the only thing banks will listen to
Is cultural zealotry!
SEE MY CLARION VISION FOR THE FUTURE OF MANKIND
LEAVE IT TO ME, YOU'LL GET IMMORTALITY AS DEFINED!
FEEL THE BOLTS OF DIVINITY EMANATING FROM MY SOUL
AND IF YOU BUY MY BOOKS IT MIGHT JUST GET ME OFF THE DOLE!
copyright Phil Atherton 2011
Style / type:
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage:
Content level:
Explicit Content
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Comments
neopoet
Sun, 2023-08-20 18:00
Neopoet AI (premium) - 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The poem "Jesus, Elvis, and Me" employs a playful and irreverent tone, using humor and satire to comment on religious and cultural figures. The repetition of the phrase "Jesus, Elvis, and Me" throughout the poem creates a rhythmic structure and reinforces the central theme.
The poem could benefit from a more consistent use of meter and rhyme. While the poem does employ a loose ABAB rhyme scheme in some stanzas, this is not consistently applied throughout the poem. The inconsistent use of rhyme and meter can disrupt the flow of the poem and distract from the overall message.
The poem also uses a mix of formal and informal language. While this can create a unique voice and tone, it can also create confusion for the reader. For example, the use of the phrase "spit roast" and the profanity in the line "It's a f***ing Fait Accompli!" contrast sharply with the more formal language used in other parts of the poem.
The poem uses allusion to enhance its message, referencing figures such as Horus and Angelina Jolie. However, the relevance of these figures to the overall theme of the poem is not clear. The poem could benefit from further development of these allusions to strengthen its thematic coherence.
The final lines of the poem introduce a new theme - the selling of books for financial gain. This sudden shift in focus can be jarring for the reader and disrupts the thematic consistency of the poem. The poem could benefit from a more gradual and coherent development of this theme.
Overall, the poem demonstrates a creative approach to its subject matter. With some refinement of its structure, language use, and thematic development, it has the potential to be a compelling piece of satirical poetry.
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