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Ginger Sleeps...

Submitted by Geezer on Thu, 2024-05-09 09:33

Bright white light, floods yet again
Locked in waist length braids
She proudly walks
Stepping safe and sure
Her calm allure, so pure

Sleep into silent dream
Unknown worlds and schemes
Clouded, foggy visions
Green gardens of faith
Beyond the guarded gate

Clear stream of unconsciousness
Pulls her heart from scorching fire
He tosses it aside
Stay here forever...
His fantasy stops

Looking weak and fragile
We fear the worst
It falls beyond the pale
No warmth, and so
She never wakes

Thinks he...
She might be dying

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Editing - draft
Workshop: 
How to use imagery in poetry..
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content
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Comments

neopoet

Thu, 2024-05-09 09:33

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Watch this space! Our AI will post a response here in about 6 hours.

Geezer

Thu, 2024-05-09 09:35

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Mark's workshop poem, rewritten. ~ Geez.
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There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
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author comment

Mark

Thu, 2024-05-09 11:15

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Need time later to get into it.

Mark
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Read/Comment it's a win win
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