The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem provides a vivid narrative that engages the reader from start to finish. The use of rhyme and rhythm gives the piece a steady flow, which is effective in conveying the speaker's frustration and impatience.

However, the poem could benefit from a more nuanced exploration of the speaker's emotions. The speaker's feelings of anger and indignation are clear, but the poem could delve deeper into these emotions to create a more complex and compelling character.

The poem also tends to tell rather than show. For example, in the line "I was pissed at the guy," the speaker directly states their anger. Instead, consider showing this emotion through the speaker's actions or dialogue.

The poem's ending is effective in providing a resolution to the narrative, but it could be strengthened by tying it back to the poem's earlier themes or images. For example, the speaker could reflect on their experience in the context of their long wait or their anticipation of seeing Claire.

The poem's use of language is generally clear and concise, but there are a few instances where the wording could be more precise. For example, in the line "I was a smuggler, they knew I was bad," the word "bad" is vague and doesn't fully convey the speaker's perceived criminality. Consider using a more specific word or phrase to better illustrate the speaker's character.

Lastly, the poem's structure is consistent, which contributes to its readability. However, varying the length and structure of the lines could create a more dynamic rhythm and enhance the poem's emotional impact. For example, shorter lines could be used to convey the speaker's quick, frantic thoughts, while longer lines could be used to depict their drawn-out wait.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

I would love to see the poem with the cut lines! I know you cannot enter it that way, but can you post it as a regular post? This a personal interest for me. I was arrested and thrown in jail because I was suspected of cocaine dealing was the real reason. I was out with my mother taking her to a Bar with a Band. Two off duty cops were checking ID's. I heard one say to the other "that's Her!" I was falsely identified. the idiots must have thought I was cocaine Katie.One of them grabbed my hand bag and dumped out the contents! no cocaine, but a sweet oz of pot. my moment in court came and the judge ruled the two cops were idiots because their stories of he arrest differed and it was a false arrest, so the case was thrown out. But I did get to hear the two cops being berated by the judge! sorry to bend your ear...

*hugs, Cat

Hello, Geezer,
Bummer about all of this, especially the dolly for Claire! Great take on the contest theme.
L