The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "First Ride" effectively uses narrative and descriptive elements to convey a story of camaraderie, learning, and freedom. However, there are areas where it could be improved to enhance clarity and emotional impact.

1. Consistent Rhyme Scheme: The poem seems to follow an ABAB rhyme scheme, but this is not consistently maintained. For instance, the second stanza doesn't follow this pattern. Consistency in rhyme scheme can improve the flow and rhythm of the poem.

2. Imagery: While the poem does a good job of describing the setting and the bike, it could benefit from more vivid and sensory imagery. For example, the line "A dream, a chance for me to roam" could be expanded to include more specific details about what this freedom might look like or feel like to the speaker.

3. Character Development: The characters of Mikey and the speaker are central to the poem, but they could be better developed. More details about their relationship, their personalities, or their past experiences could add depth to the poem and make the reader more invested in their story.

4. Show, Don't Tell: The poem often tells the reader what is happening or how the speaker is feeling instead of showing it through actions, dialogue, or sensory details. For example, the line "I was nervous, astride the polished seat" could be shown through the speaker's actions or physical sensations rather than directly stated.

5. Punctuation: The poem lacks consistent punctuation, which can make it difficult to follow. Adding punctuation can help guide the reader through the poem and clarify the intended rhythm and pauses.

6. Line Lengths: The lengths of the lines in the poem vary significantly, which can disrupt the rhythm. Trying to maintain a more consistent line length could improve the flow of the poem.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

That is how I felt about my first motorcycle ride! It was an emerald metallic green with detailing was in gold. A glass-pack megaphone. I loved that bike. Your language usage was good, simple enough to aid the flow through. I rolled right through this piece with anticipation and reckless abandon, lol. I was not disappointed by the ending ...and all is right in Kiddsville tonight!

*hugs, Cat

Your poem brought back the memory of my first bike: my mother's bike from college. I was seven years old when we retrieved it from my grandparents' garage. I replaced the tires and inner tubes (learning the lesson that screw drivers should not be used to get the tire onto the rim.) The chain got oiled and the pedals were replaced. I remember spending an afternoon trying to ride it down the sloped front lawn. There were many tumbles. Eventually, I learned the trick and was free to ride around the small town of Shirland, Illinois and even to Drummond.

Thanks for the memory.

I hope kids nowadays get to dislocate the odd shoulder and graze the skin down to a bare kneecap.
We were built to bounce down the road, bleed a bit, get up and go again as kids....

Loved it, brought back memories, thanks.

Obi.

Of having a bicycle and being able to roam the neighborhood...even better with friends. Great memory and write.

my first bicycle was not mine, but my next oldest sisters' She inserted a big stick in the front wheel. End of ride, plenty of blood... instead of this I gave you a pleasant comment. But I guess I would be missing the point of the exercise. I love your poem, it radiates Joy!

*hugs xxx, Cat

Hi, Geezer,
I love the details here - tightened spokes, patched tubes, skinned knees, and kool-aid in plastic cups. The street I rode on was not Summit, but could have been with all the similarities. Very nice.
Thank you!
L

Reminds me of early growing up days. Today no one would look at a bike like that. They would simply go out and buy a new one!

Your comments are so accurate. I lived in the same time frame maybe a bit older. I remember the Kennedy shooting I was a senior in high school. I also remember working for my dad at a much earlier age. We were always fixing things so they could be used etc. great thoughts, more poetry to come looking back!

Your A B A B firm was great, rhyme effective. Great poem!