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A Parrot's Portrait (Haiku)

Submitted by Leonard on Sun, 2011-07-10 03:58

bright downy feathers
aerodynamic form
freshly painted beak

written: 25/02/2008

Editing stage:

Editing - rough draft

Comments

raj

Sun, 2011-07-10 05:13

nicely done Leonard..i wish

nicely done Leonard..i wish though you could replace the word body to give this more cadence...

raj (sublime_ocean)

Leonard

Mon, 2011-07-11 02:55

I agree with you . Perhaps - as Gee has suggested - I could use the word "form" instead of "body" but people are sticklers for the 5/7/5 form. Actually, if you check out Haiku writing on the internet, it is not really necessary to stock to the 5/7/5 formula. You could miss out a syllable her and there.

Thanks for the read. I have changed the word to "form".

Cheers ... Leonard

Leonard Daranjo

"When the waiting stops, the living begins"

author comment

Janice Pearce

Sun, 2011-07-10 11:50

Leonard

So glad to see an old friend here, enjoyed this haiku from you!

Leonard

Mon, 2011-07-11 02:57

Incredible I was wondering whether you are still around

Thanks a million Janice. Hope to be seeing a lot more of you. Keep in touch.

Leonard

Leonard Daranjo

"When the waiting stops, the living begins"

author comment

scribbler

Sun, 2011-07-10 22:52

hello

Enjoyed. Hats off as when I write Haiku I can't seem to stop at just one...............stan

Leonard

Mon, 2011-07-11 03:33

Thanks Stan

For stopping by to read

Cheers ... Leonard

Leonard Daranjo

"When the waiting stops, the living begins"

author comment

Geezer

Mon, 2011-07-11 01:18

I think...

that instead of [body], you could use [form]. This gave me a great picture of a parrot though! ~ Gee

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

Leonard

Mon, 2011-07-11 02:59