Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
Faith
Truth ... do we want it
why do we bridle magic
and ride with closed eyes.
Style / type:
Structured: Eastern
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
Comments
themoonman
Thu, 2011-02-17 04:38
Hi Shirley ...
thanks, I like this short form, it's good practice.
Kailashana2
Wed, 2011-02-16 16:10
Geeze, it's catchy, Geezer...
Geeze, it's catchy, Geezer... this haiku/senryu bug!
Well done moonman!
themoonman
Thu, 2011-02-17 04:39
Yes ...
I've seen it spreading ... couldn't resist.
Geezer
Wed, 2011-02-16 19:57
Catchy...
Indeed, well done! This makes me think of all of us that ask for truth, then say the light of it is too bright!
I don't know if that was your intent, but oops, there it is! ~ Gee
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
themoonman
Thu, 2011-02-17 04:40
Hi Guy ...
glad you liked it man.
scribbler
Wed, 2011-02-16 22:18
hey Richard
All I want is the plain truth
unless of course it be uncouth
or reflects badly on my cause
forcing me to think or pause
and by the way it must agree
with how I want the world to be
so give it to me short and straight
why do you now hesitate ?
but you already said this with a lot fewer words lol..........................scribbler
themoonman
Thu, 2011-02-17 04:41
Hi Stan ...
I sure liked your little ditty there
thanks
themoonman
Thu, 2011-02-17 04:47
Hi amalzamani ...
I'm sorry, did you think this rude? or are you referring
to a more generalized truth, because sometimes truth
is very rude on an individual.
Kailashana2
Thu, 2011-02-17 10:12
There is no *only* way to
There is no *only* way to show the truth, Amal.
~A
themoonman
Thu, 2011-02-17 12:39
Amalzamani ...
I'm afraid there's no one or easy answer to your question,
it would be a much easier road for all if there were. Often
the truth hides from us and doesn't come out until things
become ugly, and hard ... but most of the time it is already
there, hiding behind our own defenses. I don't think the truth
need be delivered offensively, but at the same time, the line
where each person is offended is different, not something
one can generalize ....
loved
Thu, 2011-02-17 11:22
5 7 5
five seven five only
then alone we all can make
a sweet haiku
is this true ????
just learning syllablising....
loved
themoonman
Thu, 2011-02-17 12:44
Lovely ...
You can look up "haiku" on google and find that
there are many different interpretations, but I do
believe the 5/7/5 is the most widely accepted style,
at least in the Western sense of poetic styles.
Richard
Ayaz Warith
Wed, 2011-03-09 07:31
A nice start with this Haiku,
A nice start with this Haiku, Richard.
Thanks
Regards
Ayaz
themoonman
Mon, 2011-03-28 07:20
Ayaz ...
thanks for reading sir ... hope all is well on your side
of the world.
Richard
CCfire
Sun, 2011-03-27 23:21
Nice haiku here, I am fast
Nice haiku here, I am fast becoming a fan of these, I have read Basho and enjoy the way he shaped them, the shape of the poem being more important to him than the strict syllable count that does not actually equate in english but this and some of mine that I consider my best seem to always come out 5,7,5 without counting.
Chez
"The perfect woman perpetrates literature as she does a small sin: as an experiment, in passing, to see if anybody notices it - and to makes sure that somebody does." - Nietzsche
themoonman
Mon, 2011-03-28 07:23
CC ...
Welcome to Neo ... I too like the Haiku but I'm not very
good at it, I do like to try though.
thanks for reading
Richard
CCfire
Mon, 2011-03-28 21:06
Thanks Richard
I am enjoying being here so thanks, there are some really good sites online regarding Basho who is the 'father' of the haiku and senryu so give it a look, his poems have a very eastern influence but they remain quite calming and serene in their words.
Chez
"The perfect woman perpetrates literature as she does a small sin: as an experiment, in passing, to see if anybody notices it - and to makes sure that somebody does." - Nietzsche