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doorframe... By Esker/ for Great Poetry workshop.

black room
and beyond white window
the thin shade
blurring the shapes
drifting

overcast
and settling into the low
front moving
slow

dialing up the numbers
with easy fingers
and looking at the
crack in the wall travelling
from the doorframe
to the lamp hanging
down

not expecting
me
not expecting you

ringing
ringing
ringing

Style / type: 
Free verse
Last few words: 
This work is one of the best examples of Esker's. It gives me a slice of mindset that is ordinarily left out of people's conversation and everyday view, as not being relevant. It was not my first choice of his work, but as I read and re-read it, I became convinced that I like it best. ~ Gee
Editing stage: 

Comments

The brevity is also attractive

Mr. Crud. I think it is too. ~ Gee

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author comment

Steven's a MASTER even if the poems
seem sometimes presented in a slightly haphazard manner,
this is great stuff, he uses all our emotions,
the everyday things we recognise, the sensations,
all the senses are employed when reading his poetry,
we revel in it,
whether it is about the garbage,
or the wind.

Well chosen my knight, Q ann.

"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.

exactly, my Queen. I was thinking that he uses all our emotions. He places one in the scene that he paints with his words. The mundane everyday things that people just don't speak of, the little things that as a whole, make
up the whole picture. ~ Sir Gee

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author comment

is that I can't relate to what Esker is saying. We agree that Great poetry touches us and hits home, doesn't it?

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Doorframe was meeting Shelagh again
a great love and still is
red head and dynamic in appearance
wild eyes and intelligent

we are not models we are characters
and we get more roles
more trouble more love
more ache

Doorframe was across street in wealthy Davisville Toronto
my freind had an apartment there filled with his crazy intelligent
wild friends

afternoon in the cool fall sun falling
busy little street in old town
now surrounded by wealthy old money city
and new rich

Doorframe was not his apartment but where I spotted her
She watched me go in to meet her and come out and cross
street from coffee shop..Second Cup.. a woman was singing
a jazz number and a paino player back up
a Firetruck rolled past slow and when I looked beyond it
there she was.....that old shock of feelings ran through me
and we carefully made our way to meet
she was leaning in a doorframe
studyng me

that in just a title...Titles have a whole immense flash for me
intimate and personal

The room was at night in dead of winter
kitchen and the window looking out to the trees
the slope to the river and farm feilds beyond and
a great hill..very Ontario rural bush with wolves
probably and many trees...snowflakes would
fall down past windows or in the thin light
dazzling me...like rain...something hypnotic
and magical about it...can watch it for hours
does something to my brain..
and then in that semi light
the telephone on the wall....the empty old fifties
bungalow the trucks and traffic going past
on the curve out there and beyond the great
bush...enough houses close to not be too lonely
and then ringing the phone....the old rotary
dial back in 1987...Never met a creative mind
or soul or dazzling voice like that before

and we would talk about everythning for hours
not just gossip..but like these poems
and she would cry...like that lady in the song
by the Smiths Moon River sung by old Morrisey

I was always just trying to chat a friend in college
but the phone would get picked up by the
people and I just ended up talking to her one night
when he was out with his chums
and she would call me

the excitement before making the call
prepping myself I would notice all the details in the rooms
then the phone ringing...
and
she would pick up

...

I can write to be real
but a lot of people think like this
anyway this is the way I think all the time

SHELAGH

I met you standing in the doorframe
the magic was there
in our footsteps
and how our rich voices
didnt need the phone
our souls now ring
when we meet
to do our thing

...

that is simple and easy okay
just a sampler
but the obscure poem I write
is the way all of that expectation
runs up before the phone gets
lifted and its her voice

that never gets old
even now
years later

all that...
i know I write crazy

Thanks Rula for asking

for your clarifications and please forgive my laziness.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

for coming to comment on this one and making the scene even more real. It's not often that the author is so clear on what prompts them to write a particular piece. Not crazy at all ! As I have said before, I love the succinctness with which you write and the way you manage to give me the scene; direct to the brain, without a lot of words. Even if the scene isn't as exactly what you intended, I still always feel the main message. ~ Gee

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author comment

This workshop would not have been complete without at least one, now two, of his works.

His is pure poetry, utterly freeform, mostly. It is characterised by a minimum of words to paint an extraordinarily rich visual and emotional scene.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet Managing Directors, with Richard (themoonman)

am a big design fan from history
without the simple ruin of a cathedral
one would never really love the function
of the existing cathedral

one has to build the flesh of poetry
from the bones
when we all desire the flesh
and tantalizing fluidity of
of the skin of a work

I loved that about what I read
trying to build from that Latticework
that Trellis a vine that would
sway in the wind
and blossom ideals and principles
empathy and anger at times

Simplistic abstract
petri dishs and the rudiments
of a crystal sometimes
to grow ideas from
for creative flora to embellish
rich words
Imagination has always
been the value

always

Thank You!

As I said in comment on his other poem here, I think one of the things that he does so well is to leave enough ambiguity to allow the reader to fill in the blanks and interpret it in the way the reader wants. It's almost like writing a poem whose subtext varies from one reader to the next. Now.........this does have its drawback. The main one in my opinion is the fact that a great many readers want to understand what a writer wants to convey without having to spend too much time figuring it out. I'm referring to readers at large, not those here.........stan

Poetry readers are almost by definition the least lazy of reader. Appreciating and understanding poetry involves a great deal more interaction than other writing forms or media. Many of us enjoy the challenge of finding or constructing meaning in a poem.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet Managing Directors, with Richard (themoonman)

Like the National Geographic article blurring into a New Yorker short musings...
I read both...(and Walrus mag)
both are language
both are poetic and colorful

poetry as a simplistic roll full of color and enrichment
of detail and word use
can be just as expletive in so few short words
Im not attempting to leave anyone behind
and indeed often come back and write longer
descriptive peices
which work well

but the focus in the last while
has been to create and almost impossible
abstraction that still conveys the story
Cohen Bros I like
Cronenberg and Atom Egoyan
and other directors

When I wanted to know poetry
I had to make time
I had to forget time to understand
Milton and Shakespeare
it was a long long go
but Im glad I did it

I didnt have too
but if I didnt I wouldnt love this
place wouldnt value poetry
like I do

I just love the depth is all

Thank You

ALL types of poetry have at least one drawback. My preferred style has a built in tendency to used same rhymes over and over and if care is not taken, the rhyme can dominate the content. Hence I intend no offence when I pointed out the only drawback I am aware of in the style you employ. Besides, Somebody had to be devil's advocate lol.........stan

This piece, and Esker's style in general, is not successful because of ambiguity, but because of precision. You wouldn't complain if your mirror were too clean or too shiny. Esker's work uses what James Joyce called epiphany; which he stated was the light emanating from around the words. I think this piece is great.

Ron

Blue Demon77

"What I want is to be what I was before the knife,
before the brooch pin, before the salve, fixed me in this parenthesis:
Horses fluent in the wind. A place, a time gone out of mind."

The Eye Mote-Sylvia Plath

teaching moments
yes...

Thank You

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