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The State And Shape Of The Comos
.
I would write of the universe
time
existence
life and death
but I've come to the conclusion
I know nothing of these things
other than
that they are
to describe even one of them
is impossible
so I can only write my feelings
"feelings"
touchy little things
always getting in the way
of each other
there is less truth known in this arena
than if I wrote a fictional compendium
on the shape and state of the cosmos
but the show must go on
why it "must" I don't know
anyway, here we are
hold on, I think I'm getting one
I'm tuning in
yes!
I've got a feeling
oooh, oh! yeah! the real thing
this is big
no lie
"I'm an asshole"
have you been reading this
you probably feel the same way too
wow!
what do we do now?
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Comments
Arrow
Sun, 2011-05-08 21:05
Woof?!
**. - I don't get this period.
**but I've come to the conclusion
I know nothing of these things
other than
that they are
I feel like this section needs different line breaks. Something longer at the start and ending more modestly. Maybe:
but I've come to the conclusion I know nothing of these things
other than
they are
**"feelings"
touchy little things
always getting in the way
of each other
Great stanza!
**than if I wrote a fictional compendium - This doesn't sound quite right. Maybe: than IN a fictional compendium
**have you been reading this
you probably feel the same way too - paraentheses maybe?
wow!
what do we do now - Miro's Dog Barking at the Moon comes to mind :)
There's something about the tone of your poems I really enjoy - wryness, maybe?