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Where

Submitted by Hero1 on Sat, 2018-11-24 16:01

Where is that page in time
Where we danced
Where is that book
Where you and I were the only ones that existed
Where are the directions that tell me how to 31st op loving you.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

Geezer

Sat, 2018-11-24 18:36

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is a well and time worn one and I wish that you had continued this for a bit more. I would have used another phrase in the second time you used [page] maybe said; [Where in that book?] then asked "Where are the directions that tell me how to stop loving you?" Of course, these are just ideas that you might use. There is no pressure to change what you have said or the way that you have said it! I like the theme, just give us some more to ponder. ~ Geezer.
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Race_9togo

Tue, 2018-11-27 00:14

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Its a well-worn subject, but I like the way you handled it.
I also want a few lines more...although what you have works.
The page/book thing works; its can be difficult not to use the same word too many times, don;t I know it! (Gee can tell you!)

Respectfully, Race

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