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Resurrection
A sworded conception
Doomed from the start
Your love was too strong
Lurid in its direction
Just a diversion in your mind
Yet blindly I went on
When you left
my life shattered into Infinity,
couldn't breathe without you
(chorus)
Ignite a carnal resurrection
Let me live again
Breathe
I am hanging on,
asphyxiating, on raw emotion.
Restore my voice.
Passion is my affliction
A terrible addiction
My drug of choice
Love has me in a choke hold
Inhale, exhale,
let me breathe again
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words:
Thank you to HS for helping me with this version
Editing stage:
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
Comments
lou
Thu, 2010-12-02 07:52
Joe
Thank you, that is very kind of you. Why have given up writing ?
Lou
Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!
mand
Thu, 2010-12-02 06:24
This will make a great song!!
I'd love to hear it!
Love Mand xxxxxxxx
lou
Thu, 2010-12-02 07:58
Mand
I'm glad that you like it.
I couldn't sing if my life depended on it, my singing voice would make dogs howl LOL. So someone else would have to perform it.
Love Lou xx
Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!
Hooded Stranger
Thu, 2010-12-02 10:39
Lou
Lou,
great song structure now, with your verses, two bridges and chorus. The extra verse you've added rounds it off really well. I like the change to the chorus better now too.
I look forward to you singing this one to me via MSN Messenger...I of course will take a copy of your performance and add it to the website for all to hear!!!...only kidding you my friend.
regards,
HS
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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.
lou
Thu, 2010-12-02 13:16
HS
i'm glad you approve, thanks for helping me with this.
Trust me you don't want me to sing, not if you value your hearing.
Lou.
Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!
Geezer
Thu, 2010-12-02 12:45
I can only say...
I hope that someone does sing it ! I'm not volunteering , my voice isn't that good either. [Of course after a few drinks, and some Kareoke, who cares?] But, I liked the raw emotion. Great work ! ~ love ya, Gee xxx
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
lou
Thu, 2010-12-02 13:20
Gee
Thank you
love lou
Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!
lou
Fri, 2010-12-03 02:54
Xena
Thanks Xena , your welcome to sing it, but not country style. Although I do love Patsy Cline, her voice and songs, make me cry.
lou
Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!
Race_9togo
Fri, 2010-12-03 00:55
Hi Lou
Nothing to criticize.
I love the dichotomy between love and physical desire that I feel in reading this, and the helplessness and desperation of need.
Excellent poem, let alone song.
Respectfully, Race
"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo
http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo
lou
Fri, 2010-12-03 02:53
Jim
Thank you .
Love and desire, can be heaven and hell.
lou
Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!