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The Poet's Lament
Stephen Fry described one poet as “pompous”.
T.S. Eliot was described as “pretentious”.
How do poets avoid such soubriquets?
Mrs Pettyfer? Tom Waits? Anyone?
A YouTube Muse said, “Write what you know.”
Slipping down a Rabbit’s hole, I asked,
“How do I know what I know until I’ve written it?”
“How now brown cow.”
Quipped the White Rabbit.
His watch, half the size of his head, went
TIK, TOK, TIK, TOK, TIK,TOK.
I drifted off into troubled sleep.
Another day. Nothing written.
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Candlewitch
Sat, 2022-07-23 04:45
dear Ruby,
your title is okay. as is your language usage. the theme is promising, but under developed. it is just starting to become interesting and the door is slammed shut in our faces. I for one want more than just a taste.
*always, Cat
p.s.
welcome to Neopoet. it is nice to meet you. I look forward to reading more of your work.
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Geezer
Sat, 2022-07-23 07:58
Yes...
I am in agreement with Cat's assessment. I like the premise of a Lewis Carroll
type theme, but let's have a bit more please. I get that your theme
is one of a lazy muse, but let us have a little more about them. Welcome to Neo.
~ Geezer.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
RoseBlack
Sat, 2022-07-23 08:32
Welcome Ruby
I agree with Cat and Geezer. This poem has great bones and the Lewis Carroll reference always makes for an interesting write. You mentioned T.S. Eliot, perhaps a reference or play on his works (Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats is always a good one and while not as trippy as Lewis Carroll, it still plays on fantasy and characters we can draw off of)? I would love to see this poem developed more.
~RoseBlack~