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Ocean waves

Submitted by Kammy O. on Wed, 2022-10-26 14:12

Sandy beaches
I wish to sit sit on
Calm my nerves and meditate
The ocean communicates with me
The birds in the sky glide with the wind

I close my eyes and breathe
The wind waft through my hair
Feels like I'm floating
The birds and I rise in floating symphony

This sense of calmness
Is nourishing to the soul
The ocean wave rise and fall
Talking tide
It rises and falls
The calm sea is never dull
The moon is reflecting light

When nature calls to me
That's where I'll rather be
With the birds and skies
And moon and tide
Far from the city's noisy affair

Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Last few words: 
It is always a pleasant experience going to the sea side. One is always at peace with nature and natural environment.
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Geezer

Wed, 2022-10-26 15:39

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I was looking for a little calm in an afternoon of hectic noise. Here you come with this nice calming piece!
Your language use is good; two lines I would give attention to, are: "The sea remains never dull" Maybe you could amend them to;
"The calm sea is never dull
the moon is reflected light". I felt a calmness here, nicely done. ~ Geezer.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

Kammy O.

Thu, 2022-10-27 00:04

Kammy O.'s picture

I am glad to bring some calmness your way. Thank you for the correction and done the editing. Grateful!

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Lavender

Wed, 2022-10-26 18:21

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Hello, Kammy O,
So much to embrace here - taking in the beauty and living this moment through all the senses. I am sitting at the seaside, and your final line is going to keep me there.
Thank you!
Lavender

Kammy O.

Thu, 2022-10-27 00:07

Kammy O.'s picture

Seems you are a nature lover. Nice! Thank you for appreciating my poem.

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