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How far we've come...are we there yet?

Submitted by Anna Severchuk on Wed, 2024-04-03 13:41

In a world of Chaos, lost and alone
a soul wanders searching for home
a heart adrift, longing to belong
yet feeling like an outsider all along.
In a sea of strangers a lone figure stands
Searching connection, reaching out hands,
but the world is vast and the path is unclear
as the lost soul struggles to find their sphere.
Yet deep within, a flicker of Hope,
guiding them onward an helping them cope,
so fear not,wanderer,for your not alone
in this mad world you'll find a place to call home.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft
Contest: 
04/24 Are We There Yet?
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content
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Comments

neopoet

Wed, 2024-04-03 19:41

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Lavender

Thu, 2024-04-04 00:04

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Hello, Anna,
Another inspiring poem. The feeling of despair is evident, but the sense of togetherness and hope is even stronger. May it be!
Thank you!
L

Alex Tanner

Thu, 2024-04-04 11:23

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I am struggling to find the right words for this. So many in your country must feel this way in the present time. One can only hope that the chaos is soon ended, as you so succinctly state, there is hope. I wish you and your fellow countrymen and women well. Alex

Geezer

Fri, 2024-04-05 09:23

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let me say that it is heartbreaking to know that your world is so unsettled.
I think the soul you are speaking of, is freedom.
A few bobbles, and a typo keep this one from being as smooth as it might be.

The meter is pretty fair, for the most part, but it falters in the line:
"Yet feeling like an outsider all along"

You might consider changing it to something like:
[you feeling like a stranger all along.]

There are typos in the lines:
"guiding them onward, an[d] helping them cope.
so fear not wanderer, for [you're] not alone.

All in all, a good look at the hopefulness of the human spirit.
~ Geezer.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

Candlewitch

Fri, 2024-04-05 14:57

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after reading your poem of misplacement I can only say; I am going to light a candle for you and a wish for peace and love to sort it all out...

*hugs, Cat

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Tawny023

Thu, 2024-04-11 17:05

Geezer mentioned the few typos for the polish version. But the theme is so rich and so easy to grasp. A lot of people are feeling alone out there and with this poem I hope they read and remember home. I really loved your word choice and play
Belong
Along
Lone
Alone

Mary Beth Magee

Sat, 2024-04-20 13:05

Mary Beth Magee's picture

You have so eloquently described the world you are experiencing and it breaks my heart to know what you are enduring. Please keep writing and putting a human face on the statistics and news reports. Your words are crucial.

Thank you,
Mary Beth

Because your words have touched my heart,
I stopped to share a little part.
Be nice, supportive, kind to all
As we walk through this Poetry Hall.

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