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Blackberry Winter

Submitted by Kristen H. on Sun, 2024-04-21 20:41

It’s the end of April…
Spring awakens after it’s long winter rest
The sun glistens between the fresh leaves on the trees
The birds sing once more
And the days last longer

Blackberry Winter stops by for a visit
Reviving the barren bushes
As the berries begin to blossom,
I am reminded…
Just as the weather and plants change
With every new season,
I must do the same.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Editing - draft
Contest: 
Neopoet Weekly Contest 04/21/24 to 04/27/24
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content
Opt-in: Neopoet AI will critique your poem.

Comments

neopoet

Mon, 2024-04-22 02:41

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The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

This poem effectively captures the transition from winter to spring, using vivid imagery of nature awakening. The metaphor of Blackberry Winter as a visitor reviving the bushes is particularly evocative. The theme of change and adaptation with the seasons is clear and well-developed throughout the poem. Consider exploring more sensory details to enhance the imagery further and create a stronger emotional impact on the reader. Additionally, you may want to experiment with varying the rhythm and structure of your lines to add more depth and complexity to your poem.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

Mary Beth Magee

Sun, 2024-04-21 21:16

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I enjoyed your verse and the parallel between nature and lives. My only complaint is I wanted more! You pulled me in with your story and I didn’t want to leave so soon.
Thanks for sharing!

Thank you,
Mary Beth

Because your words have touched my heart,
I stopped to share a little part.
Be nice, supportive, kind to all
As we walk through this Poetry Hall.

Kristen H.

Mon, 2024-04-22 12:36

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Thank you so much, Mary Beth!

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Mark

Sun, 2024-04-21 22:23

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That last line is a great one Kirsten.
Thanks,
Mark

Mark
.
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Read/Comment it's a win win
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Communications are highly valued.
Be detailed using the contact form.
We who may help cannot see what you see or know what you know.

Kristen H.

Mon, 2024-04-22 12:36

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Very much, Mark!

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Geezer

Mon, 2024-04-22 11:25

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the monochromatic scene put together here. It gives the feeling of "not yet Spring". I would have preferred to have had another stanza or two in this one, just to cement the relationship between you as a person, and the seasons.
~ Geezer.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

Kristen H.

Mon, 2024-04-22 12:39

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Very much, Geezer! I wrote this one with my head in the clouds and submitted it for feedback and I appreciate yours! I will continue this poem as it comes to me. Can't rush art and all that. Thank you!

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Lavender

Mon, 2024-04-22 14:53

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Hello, Kristen,
Such a poetic, alluring title. I love the brevity and think you've conveyed the message wonderfully, but I agree that I want more, especially from such a beautiful title. Blackberry Winter - sounds like a lovely, old soul.
Thank you!
L

Kristen H.

Mon, 2024-04-22 15:40

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So much, Lavender! I appreciate your kind words! :)

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