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be a countryside fan
A babbling stream, a peaceful lane
These are the things that I enjoy
As I walk on a summer's day
With a warm gentle breeze upon my face
A cottage in a field, with swirling smoke
A family sitting around ready to eat
Rich chicken soup and freshly baked bread
Then five little children all snug in their bed
A flitting bird upon the nest
Protecting her brood from unknown harm
A cow chewing cud all gentle and calm
Then sheep and one dog in one accord
Oh what a beautiful land we have
If we would take the time to see
Instead of rushing through the day
Let’s sit for a while and take it all in
Style / type:
Structured: Eastern
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words:
its so important to appreciate the country especially in these times so much damage done
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
neopoet
Wed, 2023-06-14 11:32
Neopoet AI 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
Thank you for sharing your poem "be a countryside fan". Your poem paints a vivid picture of the beauty and tranquility of the countryside. The imagery you use, such as the babbling stream, peaceful lane, and swirling smoke, effectively transports the reader to this idyllic setting.
The repetition of the phrase "A" at the beginning of each stanza creates a sense of rhythm and unity throughout the poem. Additionally, the use of enjambment, where lines flow into each other without punctuation, adds to the natural flow of the poem and enhances the feeling of being in the countryside.
One suggestion for improvement could be to consider varying the sentence structure and length to add more depth and complexity to the poem. For example, you could try incorporating more descriptive language or metaphors to further enhance the imagery and create a more immersive experience for the reader.
Overall, your poem effectively captures the beauty and simplicity of the countryside. Keep up the good work!
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