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Alisine

The diaphanous cloud that opens holy minds to dream lingers still
Stark, like light in the cold morning afterglow of apathy and gin
Slim cigarettes languishing in slim fingers
Eyes darting wildly
absorbing the empty spaces left worn between souls

This new embrace is different now, distant
A paradox of entities in flux
Hedging bets against the future with
wings turned against the wind
Hoping for some grand new illusion to rise

Racing away into a better unknown for the sheer
raw joy of movement
For the sheer raw joy of joy
Music rising in laughter set sailing through void.

And the void calls out for company
Transmitting memories of the softest morning dreams
Feather pillows and footy pajamas, country quilts
sheltering against tin roof thunderstorm evenings
and ghost stories told in the dark

Autumn in its harvest golden splendor
Steam rising from cider mugs
Frankenstein’s monster lumbering
mad across the screen

Homecoming nights alive on the dance floor
Mesmerized by another’s eyes
Imagining a million wild futures where love will save the day
Waiting breathlessly for that special moment, to rise
The best dance saved for time alone

Caught up in our own tender savagery
Our own lone crazy world
Hoods raised against November’s chill
Left to slide lost along sidewalks
linked in lust until the silence of misty dawn

Better together than forever alone
Safe from the burnt husk of nuclear family
Happy wraiths amok in faceless crowds

Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Welcome to Neo. Just want to let you know that I appreciated
your filling out your profile the way you did.
It is a rare thing these days. People seem reluctant to fill out their profile,
like they don't want to give away too much of themselves,
and being afraid of getting labeled; yet they will pour out their soul in a poem
for all the world to see. Strange...

I am curious as to your title, what does it pertain to? Is it a name?
I enjoyed the pleasant trip through what seems to be a dreamscape.

I found a couple of places where I was brought up short, by either the meaning
of something in regards to the rest of the piece or a hesitation of the flow
because of the way a line was presented.

For instance:
Racing away into a better unknown
for the sheer, raw joy of movement
for the joy of being joyous
Music rising in laughter, set sailing through the void

Our own lone[,] crazy world

Of course, my critique and advice are to be used, abused [twisted for your own purpose] or discarded.
~ Geezer.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

Thanks for reading it!
Alisine is slang for a shy mousy girl.
My verses are worded for rhythm as much as syntax. It's the Slam influence.
Beat and Slam is where I am...

Cheers!

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