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the last swallow

Submitted by CCfire on Sun, 2011-06-05 03:32

if fall was
the devil we worshipped
give me back
the green spring when
suppleness was leaves
nothing withered and
with you
found flowers
on the edge of lips

the uneasy truce exists
when, at final call
the last swallow is seen
but i come once more
after snow pales skies
swipes your skin
as if it seeks your ache

we lie amid
magenta dawnings
to stare upwards-
the left of a sun
frowned and puzzled that

together
we are
summer saved

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
How does this theme appeal to you?
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Editing stage: 
Editing - draft

Comments

CCfire

Sun, 2011-06-05 04:25

CCfire's picture

The summer will always come back, the people in our lives sadly do not have that choice sometimes but your comment made me smile so thank you for that.

Chez
"The perfect woman perpetrates literature as she does a small sin: as an experiment, in passing, to see if anybody notices it - and to makes sure that somebody does." - Nietzsche

author comment

CCfire

Sun, 2011-06-05 06:42

CCfire's picture

Ah I think you misunderstand lol these people are not gone in that they have passed over, just out of my life for whatever reason which usually means another screwed up relationship..the ones passed over I know are still around me. I'd like to hear those tapes too. Sounds good.

Chez
"The perfect woman perpetrates literature as she does a small sin: as an experiment, in passing, to see if anybody notices it - and to makes sure that somebody does." - Nietzsche

author comment

Nevel

Mon, 2011-06-06 06:01

Beautiful Chez,

this is perfected balanced between images and emotions...your imagery is always so refreshing, I think its characterises your poetry. "with you found flowers on the edge of lips"
such a stunning line.... (minor typo: worshiped should be worshipped ) I was thinking at the god Pan...great title....the swallow who stand for summer(time)
Must to enjoy!
Greetings,
Erwin

Poem a day keeps the doctor away)

Nevel

Mon, 2011-06-06 06:01

Beautiful Chez,

this is perfected balanced between images and emotions...your imagery is always so refreshing, I think its characterises your poetry. "with you found flowers on the edge of lips"
such a stunning line.... (minor typo: worshiped should be worshipped ) I was thinking at the god Pan...great title....the swallow who stand for summer(time)
Must to enjoy!
Greetings,
Erwin

Poem a day keeps the doctor away)

CCfire

Mon, 2011-06-06 06:12

CCfire's picture

Thanks Erwin, damn spell check changed that word lol thanks for picking it up, I didn't :)

Chez
"The perfect woman perpetrates literature as she does a small sin: as an experiment, in passing, to see if anybody notices it - and to makes sure that somebody does." - Nietzsche

author comment

Kailashana2

Mon, 2011-06-06 06:27

Lovely.

In people I knew and loved and lost represented the seasons in my life, how could I choose one?

~A

p.s. skies swipe (no s)

loved

Thu, 2011-06-09 10:37

loved's picture

always catches my eye
and I surmise....
a swallow?
The way we all now know....

but towards the end
my mind goes shallow,
twas not
that kind of a swallow...
i know you very well
you do follow

loved

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