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Sleepless in Schenectady...
Late night, weird radio-shows
Talk about God, ghosts and UFO's
She spoke to aliens, what did they say?
Ya think they're coming back someday?
Talk about secret you-know-what's
Crop-circles, Bigfoot and Commie plots
The parade of fools goes on and on
There's the face of Jesus on a won-ton
Mysterious men dressed in black suits
Little green men, they're so cute
The city of Atlantis, he knows just where
Told to him by a sage with white hair
He came to him in a dream last night
He told the man he had second-sight
Another caller has been to Middle-Earth
I can hardly contain my mirth
So bring on the monsters and the ghosties galore
The hauntings and sightings and so much more
Mysteries revealed to a chosen few
Under the sun, there must be something new
I listen to all this nonsense and drivel
Tell me they're crazy, I won't quibble
But it's still entertainment, when I can't sleep
And it's so much better than counting sheep!
Comments
Geezer
Fri, 2011-04-01 16:55
Now I guess...
that would be something new, under the sun! LOL. Thanks Shirley. Love ya, ~ Gee
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paper umbrella
Sat, 2011-04-02 00:00
lol! this is a fun read :) i
lol! this is a fun read :) i don't get to read rhymes that much so i don't have any legit critiques to give. i did notice that the last two stanzas have longer lines than the others..and the syllable count there did break the flow a bit..but i'm not picky since you're not writing a form.
Geezer
Tue, 2011-04-12 11:24
Thanks...
Glad you enjoyed, ~ Geezer
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
lou
Sun, 2011-04-03 05:48
Gee
Gee ,
i like the title, in fact i love the whole poem.
Come chat on MSN, i miss ya .
Love Lou (Grasshopper)
Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!
Geezer
Tue, 2011-04-12 11:27
So glad...
that I could entertain you. i miss you too, will see you soon.~ Love from Yoda, ~ Gee
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
Troddew
Thu, 2011-04-07 23:02
I found myself going from
I found myself going from scanning it to finding myself reading it and smiling. LOVED IT!
Geezer
Fri, 2011-04-08 16:31
I am glad...
that I could get you to go from scanning it, to actually reading and enjoying it! That is my goal, to have people reading and enjoying my work. Thanks for the read, and comment! ~ Gee
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
Geezer
Fri, 2011-04-08 23:52
Thanks for sending...
that so that I could see and hear that song. I liked it, and yes, it does remind me of my poem. Glad you liked my poem, and good to see you back. I haven't seen much of your recent work. I have been working more than I want to, but as soon as I catch up with everything, I will defintely read as much of your works as I can.
~ Gee
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
Geezer
Tue, 2011-04-12 11:23
I love...
the following site. [email protected] it covers everything! The only way that I can count sheep, is to imagine the wolf chasing them, with bloody slobbering jaws! Heh,heh,heh. Thanks, ~ Gee
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
violet
Mon, 2011-07-18 18:58
review..
Hi there :) I adore the comedic elements of this piece, i am not usually a fan of Rhyme but in this case, i had fun reading. Thank you for that. There are just a few minor quibbles that i feel would make a huge difference:
Late night, weird, radio-shows < The comma after weird. Was it intentional? I am a little confused by it and would love to know if you put it there in order to separate or if it is supposed to read as
''Late night, weird radio-shows'' ?
Talk about God, ghosts and UFO's
She spoke to aliens(;) what did they say? in the brackets, probably just down to preference but would a comma here maybe sit better?
Ya think, they're coming back someday? Ya* i find this to be amusing, i like it though i am a stickler for good grammar (again, down to preference)
Talk about secret you-know-(whats) < ''what's''
Crop-circles, Bigfoot, and Commie plots < there is no need for a comma after Bigfoot as 'and' comes next
The parade of fools, goes on and on < again, no comma needed after fools
There's the face of Jesus, on a won-ton < another comma
Mysterious men, dressed in black suits
Little green men, they're so cute
The city of Atlantis, he knows just where
Told to him, by a sage with white hair < comma probably not needed here either
He came to him, in a dream last night < and again
He told the man, he had second-sight< i am beginning to think you like commas ;)
Another caller has been to Middle-Earth
I can hardly contain my mirth
So bring on the monsters, and the ghosties galore < comma after 'monsters' should be removed also
The hauntings and sightings, and so much more < **same here
Mysteries, revealed to a chosen few< and here
Under the sun, there must be something new< and again
I listen to all this nonsense and drivel
Tell me they're crazy, I won't quibble
But, it's still entertainment, when I can't sleep< not needed after 'but'
And it's so much better than counting sheep!
I hope this was helpful and i do hope you know that i only mean to offer advice/critique in a constructive way.
I enjoyed this piece and believe that once those little hitches are fixed, it will be perfect ;)
Geezer
Tue, 2011-07-19 19:01
Glad that I...
caught your interest. I made some adjustments. Thanks for the read and commas, [I mean comments!] LOL ~ Geezer
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violet
Tue, 2011-07-19 19:36
...
Much easier on the eyes.
This can be read smoothly now and the commas do not interrupt the fun/easy flow of the piece.
Well paced and structured in my opinion.
Enjoyable indeed!
Geezer
Wed, 2011-07-20 19:21
Thank you again...
I am a big fan of rhyme. I guess that is because I love having a real cadance and rhythm. Thank you for the constructive criticism. It helped a lot! ~ Gee
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
violet
Tue, 2011-08-16 17:57
...
Had to come back to this..
And again, i smile!
Thank you :)
...
Geezer
Thu, 2011-08-18 09:41
Thanks Violet...
Is that really you? I love your ink. ~ Gee
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
violet
Thu, 2011-08-18 10:53
:)
yes, it's me and thank you :)
Roscoe Lane
Wed, 2011-08-17 06:46
I agree,
I agree, this is very good and very funny. Regards Roscoe...
Roscoe Llane,
Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.
Geezer
Thu, 2011-08-18 09:51
Thanks Ian,..
Actually, I'm not sure that it is irritation. Something akin to it I suppose. LOL
I do love to think about what makes people tick. It was a fun write. ~ Gee
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
Geezer
Thu, 2011-08-18 09:47
Hi Roscoe...
This is something that kinda just sprang out one sleepless night. After working night-shift for over thirty years, it is very difficult to sleep at night. I sleep for about an hour and a half, then wake up, stay awake for about a half hour, then sleep for another 1 1/2, etc. i listen to late-night radio, mostly classical music and the Coast to Coast radio show. It makes for some interesting listening, even if weird. ~ Gee
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
Eduardo Cruz
Sun, 2011-08-21 21:59
Hahaha!
You're a funny Savanah Beach, this was great. you pulled it off so well, talk about something so well metered,
Good stuff Gee
LMFAO!
Eddie
LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE
Geezer
Mon, 2011-08-22 08:20
Thanks Eddie...
As I've said; I love rhyme and meter. I am so pleased that this was well recieved, because I felt that the meter was very good. Of course having a subject that is fun and personal helped. Glad to make you laugh, and I hope that if you are sleepless some night, that you will listen to my favorite late-night show, Coast to Coast. I think it is only on AM radio, but I'm sure that you will find a station close enough to make it easy listening. ~ Gee
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
Xavier Sleuth
Mon, 2021-08-09 19:38
Like a rap-
Can't read this without feeling that beat.
Great rhyming/metering . . .
Line: "And it's so much better than counting sheep!"
Aren't most things?
Thx for sharing.
-..- -..- -..- -..- -..- -..-
Xtremely busy Xponentially becoming Xcellently at Xactly _____
Geezer
Tue, 2021-08-10 07:26
Thanks man...
Yeah, I love the kind of fast paced meter, that makes one think of a rap. ~ Geez.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.