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HEAVY AIR
Still, hardly a single breath of air
Till distant thunder grumbles
Omen of what the clouds will bear
Racing as they build and tumble.
Moisture falling everywhere.
Style / type:
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words:
Dis you see it for an acrostic first time through?
Editing stage:
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Comments
Rula
Sat, 2016-05-14 23:24
hello Stan
A clever acrostic indeed.
Take care.
❤❤❤❤❤❤
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scribbler
Tue, 2016-05-17 11:54
H Rula
Plain acrostics aren't my favorite type poetry so when I Do write one I add a bit of challenge by making it rhyme. Thanks for the read and comment......stan
jane210660
Sun, 2016-05-15 04:52
Yes very clever and I can
Yes very clever and I can just smell and feel the air. Jx
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scribbler
Tue, 2016-05-17 11:55
hello Jane
Thank you. I appreciate your time to read and comment.......stan
Keith Logan
Sun, 2016-05-15 13:08
this picture
of a dry spell coming to a sudden end in a hearty cloudburst is one that can be appreciated by many living in varying and different areas of the world but not Scotland where rain is never far away.
Keith Logan
the happy chappy
https://www.neopoet.com/community-guidelines
scribbler
Tue, 2016-05-17 11:56
Hi Kieth
I suspect you get tired of scraping moss out of your ears lol. Appreciate your visit.........stan
judyanne
Mon, 2016-05-16 00:14
good acrostic Stan
And short and sweet - another just like me :-)
Can I suggest you change the last line to read simply 'moisture falls' ??
Love judy
xxx
'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)
scribbler
Tue, 2016-05-17 11:58
Already called you shorty
so now I'll call you sweety lol. Can't follow your suggestion though. It would mess up rhyme.......stan
mand
Mon, 2016-05-16 08:42
Hi STan
I second all the above comments. ( that's what you call a lazy comment ) Lol
You hit the spot for me on this one - I love thunder storms and the electrifying atmosphere!
Love Mand xxx
scribbler
Tue, 2016-05-17 12:00
Hey Mandy
I've ridden out one tornado in my life and we had a hail storm so heavy the other afternoon that it looked like it had snowed the following morning. I also love storms.........stan